The Babies Are Us
by vriskastrider
Summary: elsa and anna are pregnant with each other. dave and karkat come to help. but a scary baby eating demon threatens to eat the elsa and anna babies? and theres a conspiracy to make a revolution against elsa and anna, the queens of ardelia? crossover of frozen, homestuck, harry potter, house, wallander, among others.
1. THE SURPRISING BABY PREGNENCIES

(EDIT holy shit... theres some REAL MUSIC based on this story now... litsen here you tube watch?v=HhoeJoeXlas NOTE IT CONTAINS SPOILRESR FOR THE FINAL CHAPTER)

CHAPTER 1: THE SURPRISING BABY PREGNENCIES

elsa and anna were sitting on their bed in the mythical and magical wonderful kingdom of ardelia of which they were also twin lesbian incest queens. elsa was reading books because she is smart. and anna was just eating doritos or something like that cause shes just normal? i dont really know

AND THEN elsa sudenly grabbed a KNIFE! a REAL KNIFE made of ICE STEEL which is a cool metal that is produced in ardelia and is 1000000 times better than diamonts, there fore explaining the surrounding economical situation that allows elsa and anna just have hot lesbien sexx every day while their kingdom some how doesnt just fuckin collapse and have revolutions and shit.

AND THEN elsa thursted the ICE STEEL KNIFE into ANNAS HEART! she was bleeding, but for some reason, the bleed was gears and other robot parts.

anna said: "I AM ATACKED? MUST EXETERMINATE."

and elsa said: "TRY ME, FUCKIN NOOB."

so anna used her magical FIRE POWERS! which were like elsas magical ICE POWERS but instead of shooting ice they were that anna could shoot fire, which she did, and totally burned elsas right arm off.

"YOUR GONNA PAY FOR THIS..." said elsa, "... WITH INTER COURSE"

and then elsa and anna had inter course while stabbing and freezing and firing and otherly violencing each other all the time, until both had pretty much died and were just a leg or an arm twisting on the floor.

"wowwwww that was hot", said the real elsa. and the other elsa had been a robot.  
"yeessssshhhhshshhhh", ejaculated anna. "but my lesbian queen love..."

"what?" axed elsa and at the same time called her maids on the phone so that they would clean the remains of elsabot and annabot from the real queens room, and also put out the huge fire that had started due to annabots fire powers. fire safety is everyones business.

"i dont really know, buut... that... wasnt the HOTTEST thing?" anna wondered sadly.

"what u mean? arent my elsannabots exxxxtremely hot and saucy?"  
"yeah, sure my lesbian queen love, but like theyre not the HOTTEST and the SAUCIEST and i guess i forgot teh point i was making"

"hmmmmmmm", elsa thought. she was very extremely smart and the intelligentest dude in all of ardelia. "can i maybe improve my bots?"

"i dont know how that would be possible", sadly said anna. "nothing beats a hot bot lesbian death-sex off with knifes and fires and ices."

"sadly, that is indubutably true. hmmmmm... what if you think of a solution and i walk around the knigdom, just doing stuff and presumably fore shadowing future events?" asked elsa.

"sure, but dont stay long. im gonna make PANCAKES yeeeeeeeesshhh", anna said exitedly. elsa faked a smile and quickly left. what the HELL was it with anna and pancakes? god fucking damning pancakes EVERY DAY FOR EVERY TIME BASICALLY EVER kind of made u sick of pancakes, except if you were anna she guessed. anyway, the point: pancakes, what the hell?

but then elsa anyways left. the castle was very big, probably bigger than the city of new york, so it was pretty impossible to walk through, so elsa grabbed an annabot and used its jetpack thrust to get around (wow that sounds a bit wrong? but anyway) she basically flew to a BIG magical room with a big black board.

and on the black board there were math equations like "e = mc2". that were related to the elsannabots elsa had constructed. and, the question is: how do math turn into robots?

and the anserw is: MAGIC. that the explaination, studpid. elsa and anna and the whole kingdom of ardelia were pretty much magic, and thats why.

but anyways, elsa checked the equations to make sure they were right. if something was wrong, the robots could do all kinds of bad stuffs, like going on MURDEROUS RAMPAGE. of course that would never happen, because elsa was the best math-magic-programmer-robotmaker.

"hmmmmmmmm", she whipsered worryingly. there was one equation that was WRONG! it was like this:

c = 100%

where c = "chance of going on murderous rampage in near future"

"that should maybe be something like 0%", elsa said aloud. "maybe i should ask anna if murder rampages are hot? hey, maybe thats the solution to her troubles!"

elsa basically hi-5:ed her self because SOMETIMES she was self indulgent as fuck.

"ELLSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" anna screamed from somewhere with a volume that was larger than 1000 puppies being crushed. or your mom when she sees u looking at elsanna pixs.

"im coming!" elsa screamed back and grabbed a near by elsabot which automagically knew where to take the hot lesbian queen.

"i came as fast as i could", elsa said but was shocked to see anna writhering on the floor in pain. "wow, why are you writhing in pain on the floor?"

"its not because im pregnant or something, b-baka", anna said tsundereisly. but wow anna, that wasnt sensible at all? learn to know the animes better before trying to reference them.

"hmmm what else could it be", elsa wondered. "did you eat too much pancakes? my fucking god that i am me my self I TOLD YOU THOSE PANCAKES WOULD –"

"NO I LIED IN PREGNENT!" anna cryscreamed, which is when you cry and scream at the same time. or would be more accurate to say: cryscreameated, because she was also eating pancakes. annas mouth was capable of many wonderful things (wow, that sounds a bit wrong? true tho)

"GASP!" elsa gasped. "whose the father?"

"the father... i cant tell you that elsa"

"ok then", elsa said annoyedly, "but we run paper work properly in this kingdom and i will there fore need to know who the hell built ur snowman."

"pls ask me whos the baby", anna axed.

"ok, whos the baby anna?"

"the baby..." anna said an took a break to sound dramatic and also to stuff more pancakes in her mouth, "... IS YOU"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" elsa nooooooooooed. "or i guess, YEEEES, because i have no idea what the hell any of that means and it could as well as be a positive thing."

"being pregnent means giving birth to a baby, stutid", anna said.

"yeah i know that did you maybe forget im THE BESTEST AND SMARTETEST SCIENTSIT IN THIS KINGDOM OF ARDELIA?" elsa said furiously. "but how the hell can you be pregnant with ME?"

"thats the magic of ardelia."

"ok", said elsa and sighed at the fact that she could get no scientific explanation out of anna, despite the fact that she just built an army of robots by writing things on a black board, you fucking hypocrite. "but since im your lesbian queen incest lover, i should call someone who knows how to deliver a baby to help your pregnancy."

"who is that?" axed anna.

"he is an expert at babymaking and slash or delivering..." said elsa and paused dramatically... "... who is called... KARKART VANTAS!"

to be contiuned


	2. SIGMUND FREUD SOLVES THE PREGGY MYSTERY!

CHAPTER 2: SIGMUND FREUD SOLVES THE DOUBLE PREGNENCY MYSTERY

"hmmmmmmm acording to my calculations annas baby will be born IN 2 DAYS", elsa said exictedly and looked at the huge calulations she had made on the black board.

"FUCKING HELL, THAT BETTER BE TRUE. I CANNOT STAND THIS CASTLE FOR IDIOT ASSHOLES ANY LONGER THAN THAT", elsas guest angrily screamed. "I WONDER WHAT THE PROBLEM REALLY IS. MAYBE IF YOU FUCKING LEARNED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR DUMBASS KINGDOM INSTEAD OF GETTING OFF ON CREEPY SEXBOTS EVERY DAY? OR WHAT IF YOU STOPPED WAKING ME UP EVERY FUCKING NIGHT BECAUSE ELSA STABBED ANNA'S BELLY AGAIN? MY ASTONISHMENT AT THE FACT THAT YOUR BABY HAS SURVIVED THIS LONG IS THE ONLY EMOTION BURNING STRONGER THAN THE INFERNAL HATE I FEEL TOWARDS EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IN THIS ASSHOLE KINGDOM!"

"shut up youre scraring annas baby", elsa disaproved.

"THE BABY ISN'T EVEN FUCKING BORN YET!"

"but im the baby", elsa said. "AGAIN shut up because im trying to get some fun physics done. why is this equation that coinsidentally uses my weight suddenly fail, hmm?"

"LET ME GUESS", angered karkat. "IT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE FUCKING PREGNANT, YOU GODDAMN IMBECILE!"

"hmmmm", wondered elsa and examined her belly scientifically. and wow, it was true! elsa was also pregnent, but who was the baby?

"i wonder who the baby is", elsa wondered. "time to go to ardelias university where an expert will evaluite my pregnency! see you, karkat"

"FIRST OF ALL, THE BABY IS ANNA, YOU FUCKING IGNORAMUS", karkat shouted while elsa looked for the nearest elsannabot. "AND SECOND, I'LL ADMIT THAT I'M NOT EXACTLY AN AUTHORITY OF HUMAN REPRODUCTION, BUT THAT IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING QUESTION ANYONE HAS EVER ASKED IN THE HISTORY OF ASSHOLES GIVING BIRTH!"

but elsa was already gone.

-

"give me more doridtos please", anna cried at one of her maids. being pregnant was very hard, and very emotional.

the maid went away and anna began to cry due to not having more doridtoes, and also pancakes, which were her main obession.

but suddenly and predictably KARKAT SUDENLY CAME INTO THE ROOM HOLDING A KNIFE!

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOUR BABY", the anger troll screamed.

"holy shit", anna said because she was so surprised. "why is karkat so predictably murderous because we made him do all of our work and stay awake for nine months, while not giving any food or money?"

the troll advanced, still holding a knife and looking as angry as your mom when she sees you looking at hot elsanna pixs.

"hmmm, maybe the robot army will sudenly go on a murderous rampage", anna wondered aloud. but it didnt happen. she was DOOMED!

karkat thrusted the knife into annas belly.

-

elsa walked across the street to the ardelias university. the university was really big and beautiful and magical, because the kingdom had so much money. from making ICE STEEL, or whatever bullshit magic material it was.

also, the elsannabots were probably made of ICE STEEL, which will be important later, when they rampage murderiously, thought elsa to herself. she had forgot to axe anna if she prefered living with or without robot mass murder.

"hi", elsa said to an university worker. or maybe it was a student? anyways, it didnt matter because elsa could just execute anyone who didnt do everything she wanted. "please tell dr freud to see me."

the doctor was busy doing something, so elsa took a while to watch a nearby elsabot and annabot make out and then fight to death, until annabot won and devoured elsabots body. it was SO hot.

"i came as fast as i could", dr freud said.  
"me too", elsa said. "anyways, hi can you tell me why anna and me are sudenly aggresively pregnent with each other?"

"i have analyzed your case extensively", freud said. "right now i am evaluating the troubling childhood event of snowman castration and its effect on your psyches. in annas dream number 134, we can see that a big pillar made of snow melts and causes the castle to be demolished – clear phallic imagery an expert such as i can not ignore."

"shut up and tell me about babies", elsa sighed. she had no idea why the university kept a reanimated corpse of dr sigmund freud, in different stages of the process known as decomposition, apart from analyzing why people suddenly give birth to each other.

"oh yes, there is one recorded case of somebody giving birth to a person who already lives", the doctor said.

"ok who was the baby?"  
"i cannot tell you that elsa", freud said mysteriously.  
"but who is the father then?"

"hmmmmmmmmm", the man psychoanalyzed. "how did you guess that the father was in fact male, when in fact i didnt say so?"

"i have seen the baby is you, you doofus", elsa said. "i was just making a reference, chill (heh). but ok ill contact DAVE STDRIDER this instant bye doc and please stop emailing me your pervert analyses of my dreams you somehow happen to know! OK BYE FOREVER"

"but wait!" freud shouted mysteriously when elsa walked away. "there is a twist to this information! you will regret if you dont listen to me now!"

but elsa was already gone, because a 2 elsabot and 4 annabot hot makeout session had begun in the front of the castle. olaf the snow man was touching himself inapropriately and was there fore sent into the slammer.

-

but when elsa was walking back, she suddenly saw one of her maids called gunilla. she was hysterical and screaming and WHAT THE FUCK holding TWO BABIES? that looked like elsa and anna. elsa was so surprised she almost died of not breathing.

"how do you have babies that look like ME and my lesbian queen bdsm lover?" elsa axed in astonishment.

"oh elsa im not sure!" gunilla cried. she had HUGE BOOBES (radius almost 0.4m) and beutiful hair and curvy body. elsa secretly wanted to sex her. "i i i was just walkin and giving a massage to a elsabot and THEN SUDENLY SOME BABIES aperared! im not sure what to do! how can babies sudenly appear!"

"indeed", said elsa smartly, "how come babies suddenly come... when me and my lesbian queen incest lover are ALREADY PREGNANT WITH THEM? this is a fine mystery, but fortunately i am THE KINGDOMS GREATEST DETECTIVE."

"but what will we do?"

"its obvious that some babies sudenly appearing is related to MAGIC", elsa said knowingly. "my magic skills are only the second best in ardelias kingdom... so, there fore, we must call THE KINGDOMS BEST MAGIC EXPERT, DUMLEDORE!"

suddenly some white smoke appeared and in there was a MAN WITH A HUGE BEARD (length almost 2m)! HOLY SHIT. gunilla was very surprised, thought elsa had just said that she would call dumledore. maybe gunilla wasnt so brigth.

"hello i am dumledore", the old man said, as if it wasnt obvious that a mysterious man suddenly teleporting was fucking dumledore. GET A GRIP OLD MAN! "how can i be of service my great lesbian queen elsa who will torture and slash or execute me unless i do everything you request at my best ability?"

"1st. SHUT UP!" said elsa. "im here to do some work, not FUCKING listen to you cry about how i will kill you unless you do what i say. 2st. how do magic babies suddenly appear out of thin air, if i and anna are also pregnant with them? explain please."

"yes, very indubutably indeed", said dumledore thoughtfully. "when two copies of the same persona suddenly appear, there is only one explaination! and that explaination, my dear listeners and probable future torturers, is the ancient and hidden and enchanting magic of TIME TRAVEL."

"wait a bit", axed gunilla. "i thought there were other magics too when theres like two copies of somebody?"

"SHUT UP YOUre not the magic expert here", said elsa angrily. "so dont talk about magic."

"well ok my lesbian queen elsa", gunilla said sadly. elsa noticed that she looked sexy and hotttt while sad. that was good because elsa liked torture sexx, like with knifes and decapitations and lobotomias and freezing to death and being clawed to death by cats and eating each other and burning to death etc.

"ok dumledore", elsa said, "so what do we do with the babies?"

"you shall take care of these babies", said dumledore, "because they might be past versions of you. else, bad things could happen! if you let the babies die you might DOOM THE WHOLE WORLD, because of a paradox."

"ok go away DUMBledore", said elsa "or i kill you."

"ungrateful lesbian queen bdsm lover asshole", dumledore sighed as he teleported away.

"now..." said elsa and eyed at gunilla sexxxxily, "theres something sexxy i would like to do with you ;)"

"whats it", the naive maid said.

"ITS SEX", elsa said and grabbed gunilla and quickly ran to the nearest room, leaving the babies on the floor.

NEXT CHAPTER: HOW WILL ANNA REACT? HOW DID THE MYSTERY TIME TRAVEL BABIES HAPPEN? WILL ELSA AND ANNA GIVE BIRTH...?


	3. THE ELSA RAP

CHAPTER 3: THE ELSA RAP

karkat was kind of freaking out after brutally murdering anna. "OH FH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK SHIT SHIT DAMN FUCK HELL FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFFUFCKFFCFKUUCUGFKUCFKUCKUFUKUKDUCFKKFKUFUKFKUCKUFKUCFUKFUK!"

but then he looked at annas body with the knife on her pregnency belly and realized something scary: IT WAS JUST A RABOT.

or wait, that was actually a GOOD thing, because of he didnt really murder anybody.

"NICE FUCKING TRY, JUSTICE SYSTEM OF THIS BULLSHIT KINGDOM, BUT I AM NOT GOING TO THE SLAMMER YET", the troll said reliefly.

but sudenly, a very manly and hard boiled voice said: "yo"

karkat turned around and there was a vaguely swedish looking man in a trech coat and fedora. he was smoking a cig and investigating potential evidence with a looking glass, and also drinking beer because he was super depressed and his daughter didnt love him and his wife had died in a horse accident.

"im kurt wallander from ardelias police force and youre fucking going to the slammer, dude", he said and blew some smoke on karkats face.

"WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK? I HAVE NOT COMMITTED A CRIME UNLESS KILLING THOSE CREEPY-AS-HELL SEXBOTS IS ILLEGAL, AND THEY EVEN DO IT FUCKING THEMSELVES!"

"dude im not the crime professional here oh wait i am yeah youre going to jail bro", said wallander and took some ICE STEEL handcuffs out of his pocket.

"FUCK YOU! I AM NOT WEARING THOSE, AND I AM NOT FUCKING GOING TO JAIL!"

"calm down dude or youll get charges for annoying ardelias police force", wallander sighed. "yeah thats a real law. fucked up but true. this goddamn country has no sense of justice but enough of that lets go"

"NO! FUUUCCCKKKKK YOUUUU!"  
"dude lets not make this a problem just put them on...  
"STOP TOUCHING ME!"  
"yeah thats right then the other arm"  
"GET OFF!"  
"no not a leg what the hell"  
"FUCKING STOP TOUCHING ME THIS INSTANT OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU! I HAVE NOT EVEN COMMITTED ANY CRIMES!"  
"dude you clearly planned a murder and just accidentally killed a robot"  
"NO! FUUUCCCKKKING STOP!"  
"ok thats done lets go"

and then wallander dragged his angry prisoner out.

-

elsa smiled and looked at gunillas HUGE BOOBS. wow, they were so huge, elsa wanted to calculate their radius (get a grip elsa, it was already said last chapter) but instead of physically just by touching them, and measuring, i guess. thats not good science elsa.

but elsa didnt care about science. or maybe she did, but not now. but did she ever, because her absurd "science" was p much just magic and there fore kind of NOT SCIENCE maybe? i forgot the point i was making, expect that magic is NOT science, even if lesbian queens tell you other wise

"toucsh my boobs you bastard!" elsa screamed hard. gunilla obeyed because she was a maid and there fore had to. elsas boobs were fairly big (radius almost 0.2m), but not THAT big. elsa had thought about axing dumledore about breats enlargement surgery magic, but had not yet

gunilla touched elsas boobs and elsa moaned sexily. "do it a gain my slave!" elsa commanded and gunilla did it again, and elsa moaned prety hard. it was getting boring, so elsa commanded gunilla to repeatedly charge into her head with her boobs, which was pretty hot and sexy.

in the room there were two annabots. elsa didnt command them to join because she felt bad about cheating on her, altough both queens had robot sex every day, but it was different because the robots were them, or ICE STEEL versions of them, i guess. and it was some how different? idk tho, maybe sexxing with somebodys elses robots WOULD be bad, if the robots were intelligent. were the elsannabots intelligent? i guess the only thing they do is have sex, which elsa and anna also do a lot, so i guess the robots are pretty much like them, and there fore like ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGs (but not literally), so there fore robot sex WOULD be baddd! but elsa and anna didnt really care, because all they cared about is sex, and pancakes, and doritos ,and sciecen, though it was mostly magic anyway

BUT THE POINT HERE IS THAT: elsa and gunilla were having sex. elsas boobs were in gunillas vag, and gunilla was licking elsas toes. and gunillas boobs were on elsas face. and gunillas hands were in elsas vag. and they moved the various body parts and boobies and it was HOT! and they came many times, and started again. SHO. HOT. AND. SEXYY! god damn, elsa was ALMOST enjoying herself as much as with anna, but with anna she could do bdsm and torture and decapitation, so maybe not anyways.

"aahhhhhhhhhahaahhaahh", elsa moaned.  
"ohohohohohohohohohoohohohohhoo", gunilla screamed.  
"hhuuuuuuuuhhhh", elsa came.  
"youre SO FRICKING SEXY", gunilla said and came.  
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HAVING SEX WITH MY LESBIEN QUEEN LOVER HOLY SHIT FUCKING JESUS DICK WHAAATTTT?" anna screamed.

elsa and gunilla stopped and quickly put their cloths on, but anna had already seen everything, and everything was ELSA CHEATING ON HER WIFE, holy shit.

"anna i can explain", elsa sobbed sadly.

"OK THEN EXPALIN OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU AND YOUR BABY AND MY BABY WITCH IS YOU!" anna cried and screamed and threw tantrums and broke a fireplace in the house.

"ok, ill explain the only way i know..." elsa said... "through song! by wich i mean RAP"

"ok this gonna be good", anna said and sit down, ready to KILL if elsa was being an asshole.

AND ELSA SANG:

 _anna let me break it down like this for you_

 _there once was a violet bdsm queen_  
 _whose violence destroyed somebodys spleen_

 _the pans of a girl who baked doritos and cakes_  
 _causing children to have/ smiles on their faces_

 _but their sex life was weak_  
 _no revolution_  
 _together - with gunilla_  
 _there was an evolution_

 _they met on the hall and there was some sex_  
 _like eating very good tex mex_

 _boobs_  
 _and vags_  
 _and hands_  
 _and boobs_  
 _they sexed each other withouth lubes_

 _they promised to be each others baby mommy mommy babies_  
 _but now theyre both caught in their lies_  
 _their fingers in another persons pies_  
 _guilty of another person's scabies_

 _anna_  
 _heart to heart_  
 _dont treat me like a fool_

 _i may have cheated_  
 _but shell get beaten_  
 _so let be your baby mommy too_

anna was speechless, and the lack of speech was because she thought the rap was SUPER GOOD and elsas motives were really understandable.

"ok ill let you be my baby mommy if we can kill her!" anna said. "i totally understand you wanted to solve the problems in our sex lifes, by CHEATING."

"hope that wasnt sacrasm", elsa thought. "ok gunilla REST IN PIECES IM GONNA KNIFE YOU TO YOUR FACE!"

"noooo wait", gunilla cried, "it wasnt even me who started it!"

"it doesnt matter, you seduced me with your existence and there fore everytying is YOUR FAULT", elsa screamed and stabed gunilla in the face.

"lets go have make out sex", anna sugested and they left the body lie there.

but in the hall way, elsa sudenly remembeered the mysterious time travel babies. "hey anna! i now suddenly remember that some babies mysteriously time traveled here, and theyre there."

anna looked at the babies laying on the floor. "wow, they look like us."

"dumledore said that they could be our baby past sleves", elsa said. "lets take care of them or bad things may happen"

"good idea", said anna, "but first, DORIDTOES & SEXXXX TIME!"

-

and the in ardelias police forces prison karkat was ALMOST done with his huge rant, as kurt wallander dragged him into the prison.

"... AND HOW THE HELL DID YOU APPEAR CLOSE TO FIVE SECONDS AFTER THE 'CRIME', WHICH REALLY ISN'T A FUCKING CRIME, HAPPENED? THIS ARREST ISN'T LEGITIMATE, FUCK YOU AND FUCK THE ENTIRE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM OF THIS KINGDOM OF ASSHOLES WHO KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THINGS SUCH AS 'NOT HAVING STUPID LAWS' AND 'NOT MASTURBATING TO LESBIAN MURDERSEXBOTS EVERY FUCKING DAY'!"

"bro are you finished with that rant now", kurt wallander axed and threw karkat into the prison, causing him to release several hundread new swear words.

"and also, by the way, theres a simple explaination for why i appeared so fast"

"AND WHAT THE HELL IS IT?"

"i came as fast as i could."

this caused karkat to scream and swear some more, and kurt wallander to leave because he didnt want to die of being screamed at VERY HARD.

NEXT CHAPTER: CAN ELSA AND ANNA TAKE CARE OF BABIES? WILL KARKAT ESCAPE THE JAIL? WHAT IS KURT WALLANDERS MYSTERY?


	4. THE SECRET OF THE BABY PROPHECY?

CHAPTER 4: THE SECRET OF THE BABY PROPHECY?

after dealing with their libido and hunger, elsa and anna had decided to take the babies to ardelias grand museum, which was a big museum (area almost 2km^2) with interesting objects and hot elsanna pix which u could look at while basically doing SCIENCE so that your mom wouldnt get mad.

but anyway, they dressed the babies in clothing made of skin of executed public workers of ardelia. because it was cold as fuck, because it always snowed in ardelia, so that the titular "Frozen" thing would be true, always.

the point is that the babies wont die of cold.

after making sure the babies will really stay alive by trying to kill them with ice powers (anna wanted to use fire powers but obviously skin clothes wont protect you from a fucking fire, GET A GRIP ANNA said elsa) they told a couple of elsannabots to carry the babies and went to the museum.

"did you hear that i was almost assissanated", anna axed and ate a snack pancake-flavor doridto.

"no", said elsa very casually, because there was almost a revolution every day, but the elsannabots stopped them all. "who was it this time? i swear to fucking god, witch is me, that i will execute everybody involved WITH MY OWN HANDS"

"it was karkat", anna said. "and you dont have to execute anybody because kurt wallander already threw him into the slammer"

"what is THAT guys problem", elsa wondered. "he only had to look after us for 9 MONTHS and after that the babies will be born and theres only two days! wow, talk about a overreaction"

"i agree", said anna and kissed elsa sexily, because the objects of historical importance they were presently passing thru were boring, and kissing ur lesbian bdsm queen lover incest was not boring.

"hmmmmm this looks interesting", elsa said and looked at a prophecy that was on display in a stone tablet thing i guess. and the thing that was said there was this:

IN AN EVENT OCCURRING THAT INCEST BDSM QUEENS OF ARDELIA BIRTH BABIES THAT SHARE APPEARANCES NOT UNLIKE THEM  
SHALL A BABY-EATING DEMON COME AND EAT THY BABIES

\- prophesized by michel de montaigne in 1783, after smoking too much weed and passing out and having a weed dream

"wow, that situation sounds like us", said anna worryingly, but not really, because she could always just punch the demon to the face.

"yeah ill science up some solution", thought elsa. "a babby eating demon sounds bad, if, it doesnt want to sex with us, and that prophesy doesnt say so"

but then the babies began crying at the same time, which was kind of creepy consideringn of the baby eating prophecy. but not really, because babies cry all the time. seriously? ever seen a baby? its p much like CRY, CRY, woble on the floor, CRY, CRY, CRY HARDER THAN UR MOM WHEN SHE SEES U LOOKING AT HOTT ELSANNA PIX

so elsa decided to breast feed the babies, including her self and anna, which was KIND of filled with bad implications, but luckily doctor freud was not with them at the moment.

but then anna became distacted by ELSAS HOT BOOBS (radius almost 0.3m), and they went to have sex behind the prophecy stone tablet.

-

meanwhile in the slammer karkat had quieted down and was presently lying on the floor and crying. but, unfortunately, there was no hot lesbien queen to breastfeed him, so the troll had to keep crying. because he was stripped of his freedom, and unable to leave this bullshit kingdom, and possibly and p much very probably SOON TO BE EXECUTED, because elsa and anna didnt want to spend royal gold to keep prisoners they could just as well kill.

which was p hypocritical, because last year elsas and annas exotic sexx toys took like 50 fuckin % of the kingdoms budget. wow? and with that money you didnt think of ANY improvements in the kingdom? get a grip, twin lesbiean incest bdsm queens.

and im p sure the rest of the budget went to hiring some royal songwriters who would write songs for when elsa and anna got emotions. but they were lazy and mostly just copied some lyrics from youtube and slightly modified them. wow, lazy much?

but then the focus was shifted on karkat, because elsas and annas shenanigans were not as interesting when they were not having kinky queencest hot sex, but instead just existing as rulers of some kingdom with totally ambigious finanfical and political situations. if u wanna read that look up george orwell this is strictly HOT LESBIEN QUEEN INCEST SEX ZONE!

but anyways, karkat was lying on the floor and crying and probably being sad, because that is what ppl are when they cry, except babies cry at EVERYTHING, but karkat wasnt a baby, though the story SHOULD feature as many babies as possible.

"WAAHH AHAH WAAH FUCK WAAHA AAHAH SHIT SOB SOB SOB FUCK ASS BITCH AAAHHAWW WAAAHS SOB SBOT SOB", karkat kried. karkat maybe you should swear less when having emotions, nobody here is taking you seriously at all, and posibly being executed by the bdsm queen supreme her self is a PRETTY SERIOUS SITUATION, is all im saying.

"hey wanna get out of jail", a mysterous voice suddenly said mysteriously.

"SOB WHAT THE FUCK?" karkat axed and looked towards the voice. or at least to where the voice came from.

there was a little snowman that looked happy, and a bit perverted, as if thrown to the slammer to touching him self inappropriately in front of a queen. witch is p hypocritical because elsa her self masterbates ALL OF THE TIME, even when entertaining ROYAL GUESTS, and its amazing that a foreign nations hasnt already declared nuclear war on ardelia.

"i can get u out", the snow man said comediously and did some stupid shit thats not really funny. "but... i need a favor 1st"

"FUCK NO", screamed karkat angrily after having recovered from the sads. "EVERY FUCKING THING I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO DO IN THIS ASSHOLE KINGDOM HAS BEEN SOME KIND OF SEXUAL, AT LEAST IF ANALYZED BY A COMPETENT PSYCHOANALYST! SO YOU CAN GO TO HELL, BECAUSE I WON'T LICK YOUR NOSE SUGGESTIVELY WHILE TOUCHING MYSELF IN PRIVATE PLACES!"

"no its not anything like that", olaf said. "i promise, my employer simply requests 1 simple thing for you to do"

"AND WHAT THE HELL IS IT?"

"make sure the queens birth each other and bring me the babies"

-

but mean while else where, in a secret location, a secret meeting was taking place!

"good evening secret opposers of the ardelian royalty", said dumledore. "as the chairman of the meeting i now declare that it has indeed begun at 16.37. now lets move to section two listing those who are present"

"dude we dont need bureaucracy were evil conspirators", wallander complained and opened a packet of ardelias cheapest cookies. they had pictures of elsa and anna kissing. FUCK THIS COUNTRY everyone thought. "like nobodys gonna go apeshit after seeing that HOLY FUCK THIS MEETING ISNT LEGAL NOT ENOUGH MEMBERS ARE PRESENT and jesus dick i guess conspiring to kill the queens isnt legal anyway so what the fuck"

"silence, wallander!" screamded dumledore and banged his gavel on the table. "i am the chairman and i shall kill everyone who disagrees that bureaucracy is important. please remember that after assissanating the royal dictators we shall rule this country properly, like not spending our budget and time at having sex with each other"

"aw shit. i must voice my disappointment at the direction this revolution is taking", doctor freud sighed. "i am there upon resigning. good bye, gentlemen"

"OH FUCK is this meeting still legal?" dumledore wondered. "kafka pls list the present members!"

"i will now list those entities that are not currently present", replied the secretary. "god is not present, unless he is secretly me, dumledore, wallander, or freud oh wait he left already. and my mom is not present tho freud seems like a good candinate for secretly fucking her whoops i mean being her. and michel de montaigne is not present after dying of weed overdoes last week. and elsa and anna are not present, which is good, because they would find out that we want to kill them. and barakc obana is not present, which is good, because running the prez of USA shouldnt really involve them selves with revolutions in other countries. and dave strider is"

"STOP THIS POINTLESS CRITICISM OF BURAUCRACY!" dumledore angered. "JESUS DICK dude i know you shall hate it but nows not the time, and you are free to go if you prefer being tortured by sexxy lesbiens! ok i trust you mentioned all of us there, so lets move to section 3, determining that the meeting is legal"

"dude not legal were trying to kill the fucking queens", sighned wallander. sometimes, it was tought being the ONLY person to understand the law. tho the "law" ddoesnt really exist in ardelia, but is instead "elsa or anna tells you what to do". FUCK THIS COUNTRY, everybody present thought in their minds, because thinking else ways is hard.

"ok shut up i declare the meeting illegal", said dumledore, "lets move to section three. hey wallander, pls report how the plan to kill the queens by disguising a bomb as a sex you worked."

"sooo uhhhh i bought a sex toy and disguised it as a bomg i guess but then the queens found out. you wouldnt believe how well they keep track of the sex toys they own, despite probably having like a million. so plan didnt work out", reported kurt wallander.

"how much did it cost?" axed dumledore. "we can compensate it for you"

"uuuuhhhh dont really remember lets say 6 elsabucks", shrugged wallander. the twist was that he didnt even know that elsabucks were a valid currency, but of coures they were. FUCK THIS KINGDOM, everyone thought secretly.

"fine then", said kafka and wrote things down. "kurt wallander will play the revolution 8 elsabucks"

"FUCKING NO WE WILL PAY HIM and it WASNT EVEN 8 ELSABUX", dumledore angered. "jesus fuck your like the WORST. SECERYTARY. EVER!"

"thats the joke", kafka said. "lets move to the next section"

"NO IM SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT!" dumledore angered even more and almost exploded everything with magic.

"dude stop this pointless fighting and slash or bureaucracy", wallander said. "heres a suggestion lets kidnap the babies and demand money and then buy uhhhh guns or something like that i guess and then kill the queens"

"good idea!" said dumledore and banged the table, where the table was a freudian symbol for her mother. with his gavel. "i declare the meeting has finished at 16.40. everybody think of ideas for the babynapping for the next time."

"the chairman ended the meeting at 15.28", said kafka and wrote it.

"DUDE TIME DOESNT GO BACK WARDS", dumledore angered and madly teleported away.

"right", said wallander ironiously, probably because the story contained mentions of time travel, in witch time does go back wards. "i guess ill check up on the prisoners"

NEXT CHAPTER: WILL KARKAT GET OUT OF JAIL? WILL THE BABYNAPPING SUCCEED? WHERE WILL ELSA AND ANNA NEXT HAVE HOT SEXX, AND WITH WHOM? AND WHAT IS THE PROPHECY?


	5. ELSAS MYSTERIOUS ILLNESS!

CHAPTER 5: ELSAS MYSTERIOUS ILLNESS!

the next day, after returning from the museum and having sex while eating doridtoes the whole night, elsa and anna were watching tv with their babies, witch were them, and their babies witch were in their bellies. and also were them.

star wors was on the tv.

"how much would it cost to build a DEUTH STAR", anna axed rethorically. "so that ardelia would be the BEST military and CONCQUEER the world and GET ALL THE DORIDTOS!"

"i dont know", elsa answered rethorically, because she wasnt actualy going to build a death star, because its not scientific. but elsas "sciecne" was mostly just magic, so she was kind of being a hypocrite there. wow, elsa.

and then the HOT INCESTOUS KISS SCENE came and elsa and anna also came and began sexxing each other, by putting various body parts in their vagynas.

but SUDENLY! elsas moaning stopped and she OWED IN PAIN! WHAT!?

"ow", elsa said. in pain.  
"omg what is it?" anna axed. "do you have pains"  
"yes", elsa said painfully. "please take me to the doctors! if i get sick now, the baby would also get the sickness! that cant hapen! and the birthing is only 1 day away!"

"OMG", anna said, despite that elsas statement wasnt medically accurate at all. wow, elsa, youre such as shitty" scientist". "lets go there quick! elsannabots pls come! NO NOT IN THAT WAy take us to ardelias hospital please!"

and then the elsannabots came and took them to the ardelias hospital with the babies.

-

"well, TIME TO EXECUTE OUR PLAN", dumledore said evilly and draged kafka in the castle. "now, where would the babies be? lets kidnap them like we decided yesterday"

"actually, i wrote the the evil plan was to go to the subway", kafka said.

"youre the shitties secretary ever dude", dumledore sighed. "and beside this castle is so large they could even have a subway here, so that we can obey the decisions of the council"

"wow you stupid ass bureucracy lover", kafka laughed. "if we decided that dumledore suicides would you do it? lol"

"yes", dumledore saidd siriously, "but dont tell that to the evil bdsm queens or they will use it against me. ah! hencefore i have located the babies! they are in that room, that says BABY DOOR in it! prepare to kid nap... or should i say... BABY NAP?"

kafka opened the door carefully, because there could be bureucrecy insine. but there wasnt! HAHAHAHA dumledore laughed evily, because the abstract platonian idea of buraucracy wasnt in the room, BUT THE BABIES WERENT EITHER? WTF?!

but actually its not a big twist, since it was just said that the babies went to the hospital. learn to read the story, dumledore, you DUMBledore ASS.

"WHAT? HOW COULD OUR EVIL PLAN FAIL?" dumledore screamed evily and sadly. jesus christ I JUST SAID WHY are you even reading this shit old man?

but then things got worse, or better, if you are rooting for the queens. but i guess they are kind of evil. but so is dumledore, whose actions are even some times described wit the word "evil". that makes him pretty evil! but what if they are both evil then who is the good guys? is it karkat? oh wait karkat tried to stab someone. and did. but it was a robot, and robots dont have feelings, and there fore stabbing robots is KIND OF NOT EVIL, because feelings include pain, and pain is the feeling you get when youre stabbed, so there fore robots dont feel pain. at all. but is karkat evil? he was thrown in to the jail after all, and jail is for criminals, but i guess he didnt do any ACTUAL crimes, though ardelia probably has some weird laws witch he may have broken. its nice to obey laws even if they are dumb.

SO IS EVERYONE IN THIS STORY EVILL? expect the babies. babies arent evil, because they are dumb and cant even say hurtful words, like "stop looking at porn of disnay caracters or i will disown you".

but anyways, something was happening here.

and the thing, that was happening, was that ELSANNA BOTS CAME AFTER HEARING DUMLEDORE SHOUT (but not that way, because dumledore was an old man, not a lesbien bdsm queen), AND BEGAN TO INTEND TO KILL THEM! which is p dramatic irregardless of what you think of dumledores morality.

"WE CAME AS FAST AS WE COULD", said the bots murderingly, "TO EXTERMINATE YOU"

"shit", kafka said. robots were like bureucracy, becaus both dont have feelings. so kafka didnt like them. and also the robots were going to kill him. witch isnt nice. and probably bureucracy also tried to kill kafka, or why else would he hate it? maybe dr freud should do some hot psycho analyzing.

but anyways, dumledore used magic and made all the robots that attacked them stop.

"hmmmmmm", dumledore said and stroked his beard evilly. "i hereby suggest that we make... ANOTHER EVIL PLAN! hahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!"

"whats the plan", axed kafka, who totally wasnt going to wait until the next meeting so that they could vote on the plan bureucraticaly. FUCK BOREAUCRACY though kafka.

"the plan is... to steal some elsannabots, and modify so that they will kill the queens!" dumledore explained and stealed the robots and teleported out of the castle.

-

elsa and anna and the babies were waiting for ardelias best doctor in the hospital. anna was crying, because she was sad that elsa could die of the illness. and anna could also die, because if elsa birthed while being sick, the baby would also be sick, and the baby was anna.

elsa didnt cry because she liked science and violense more than emotions. and anna was also eating pancakes. and the babies were sucking elsas HUGE BOOBES (radius almost 0.3m).

"can we feed tha babies doridtos or pan cakes", anna sniffed. "t-t-t-t-they would look s-s-s-so CUTE!" and then she cried more.

"sure", elsa said. but can babies REALLY eat doridtos, elsa? maybe you should test it, with science. OH WAIT. YOUR SCIENCE IS ACTUALLY JUST MAGIC.

anna fed the babies with doridtos and gigled girlfully because the babies were cute, and she was a girl.

"HELLO dear patients", said ardelias best doctor who walked to the room with a cane. the ardelias best doctor was DR HOUSE, who was the best, because he always saved the patients with bat shit insane treatments, and breaking into their homes. or maybe the last thing was just because he was an ass hole.

"please help my lesbian queen incest lover bdsm!" anna cried sadfully.

"i will, you absolte fucking dumbass, if you give me the symptons", dr house said.

"WOW i was just being polite", anna said angrily and began eating doritoes angrily. eating doridtoes angrily means that the pieces fly everywhere and make the hospital dirty, forcing more janitors to be hired. and dr houses pay being reduced. wow, anna was so good at revenge.

"the sympton is that im in PAIN", elsa said painfully. "also, my arm hurts, and im bleding internally, and i currently hallunicate that you are dr house from the tv"

"i am dr house from the tv YOU DUMBASS", dr house from the tv said. "and arm hurting is basically just pain. so what the fuck? so your symtons are ONLY pain. jesus chirst youre stupid."

"stop being an assole and treat me!" elsa demanded angrily. "im the queen here, and if someone doesnt do what i say, they get executed."

"ok, fine", house sighed. "its probably cancer. im giving you some cancer medicine. stay here while i get them, while walking pasively aggressively slow, but its fine because im crippled. HAHAHA lol"

and he walked away. in a passive agressive way.

but then elsa noticed something! and it wasnt that anna was really hot and sexxy tho she was. it was, that THE BABY ELSA WAS CRYING, PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE HAD THE SICKNESS TOO!

-

"OK, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF GARBAGE SNOWMAN MOSTLY MADE OF SHIT", said karkat angrily. "HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE? I PROMISE TO DELIVER THE BABIES, GIVE THEM TO YOU, AND HOPEFULLY NOT FUCKING THINK OF WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO WITH THEM. WHAT DO I DO?"

the snowman looked at the troll mysteriously. "my employer has told me of a weakness that kurt wallander has... and i will now reveal it to you. so that your gonna escape the slammer."

"OK, I'M FUCKING WAITING."

olaf waited dramatically.

"and the secret weakness is...

...

...

sexy prisoners"

and suddenly, kurt wallander came down to the prison, while only wearing some hot leather underwear and carrying a pair of handcuffs.

"hey sexy", he said seductively, "want to 'get off'... the jail?"

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" karkat screamed so angrily that the whole world paused for a moment and felt a tiny drop of rage so hot it was almost hotter than good quality elsanna pixs.

almost.

NEXT CHAPTER: WILL KARKAT SEX KURT WALLANDER AND GET OFF... THE JAIL? WILL DR HOUSE SAVE ELSA AND HER BABY? IS DUMLEDORES THE NEXT EVIL PLAN GOING TO WORK? WHY DOES KAFKA HATE BUROURCRACY!?


	6. WHAT IS INSINE OF ELSANNABOTS?

CHAPTER 6: WHAT IS INSINE OF ELSANNABOTS?

after some time dr house returned with cancer pills. "eat these elsa", he said. and elsa ate them, because dr house was the BEST doctor of all. and when somebodys a good doctor you should do what they say! expect when the doctor is lying or secretly wants to kill you, in case you should only obey them when their sugestions are medically good. but only good doctors can know what things are medically good? so what the fuck? should every one just be a fucking doctor or what?

but the point here is that elsa ate cancer pills, and presumably removed her cancer, if she ever had one. but dr house said so, and hes a good doctor. but even doctors can lie. wait i just ranted about this so? read it again maybe? if you wanna think about doctors.

but elsa didnt think of doctors, she just ate the pills.

"oh wait doctor i forgot my baby also is ill", elsa said worringly. "by my baby i mean baby me, witch is a time traveling baby of me. that baby over there."

anna picked up the baby and showed her to dr house. the baby was crying, probably because she wasnt used to feeling extreme pain. hahahaaa, dumb baby. you probably couldnt even handle your mom saying "please stop looking at didney porn its making me unconfortable", you diaper pooping dumb ass.

"the baby is crying, witch is a sympton of pain", anna said. ANNA THAT DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL? crying is NOT a sympton, its only a thing you do when u feel pain or someone says that elsanna will never be canon.

by the way WOW cant wait for frozen 2! my friends dad works at disney and said that ELSANNA TRUE LOVE WILL BE CANON! elsana haters can go fuck them selves, because they probably dont have bdsm lesbian queen gril friends to watch elsanna pix with.

BUT THE POINT is that dr house said: "you dumbass, crying is not a sympton."

"wow", said anna. "just because you went to med school doesnt mean u know EVERYTGING about hospital things you concesdending ass hole."

"it LITERALY means that" dr house said and beat anna to the face with his cane. "also, im the BEST DOCTOR ever, so SHUT UP MAYBE?"

"stop fighting and help me and baby me live", elsa sighed. this was why she liked science more than people. BUT AS ESTABLISHMED ELSAS SCIENCE IS JUST MAGIC! so shes a hypocrite who just likes MAGIC more than people, and thats just cheating.

"well do you feel pain any longer, dear bdsm queen lesbien?" house axed sacrastically.

"yes", elsa said.

"that means the cancer meds didnt work", house said. "and because youre SUCH DUMBASSES, that means you DONT have cancaer. congrations!"

"ok do the meds have any side efects?" elsa axed. "what is in them? i thogt cancer wasnt just one sickness and there fore you cant cure it with just one medicine."

"cancer pills have RADIATIEN in them dumb ass ever heard of chemotherepy?" dr house said sarcastically. "and radiation means that your gonna have cancer now"

"HOLY SHIT" elsa crie.d "I DONT WANNA DIE OF CANCER"

"dont worry, IMBECILE, you JUST TOOK CANCAER PILLS, witch MEANS YOUR NOT GONNA GET CANCER DUMB ASS" dr house sighed sarcastically. "i wish everyone was a doctor, and then maybe i didnt have to explain obvious things to dumb patients."

"well I WISH EVERYONE WAS A DOCTOR SO THAT WE DIDNT HAVE TO GO TO ASSHOLE DOCTORS TO NOT DIE", anna said angrily. "so r u gonna cure elsa and baby elsa or what? i thought you were a doctor"

"im a doctor thats literally in my name idiot", dr house said. "my name is DR HOUSE. anyways, ill just use another medical technique. by making more illnessess, more symptons arrive, and there fore you can treat better, and there fore the originel illness will be cured in addition the others. so elsa im gonna give you malaria and aids and hiv and cough and anxiety disorder and ebola and malaria and sore throat. have fun being sick!"

anna though quietly to her self. "theres GOT to be a better way... dr house is just some insane ass whos gonna kill my bdsm queen lesbian lover!"

"ok, if thats the only way then i guess i have to", elsa sniffed, "but that sounds VERY dangerful. isnt there a better way?"

"we could always use magic, but i heard you liked science better", said dr house, "so i think using science is better. do u agree?"

elsa gulped. it was true that she liked science, WAY more than magic. magic was just dumb. lol, wizards look so RIDICULOUS with their HUGE WANDS (length almost 0.1m) and STUPID BEARDS and FAKE LANGUAGES and IGNORING THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, WITCH ARE TRUE, UNLIKE MAGIC, WHICH IS FAKER THAN SCIENCE.

"no i do like sc..." elsa started but then realized her WHOLE LIFE WAS A LIE and began to cry. "NNOOOOOO! I LIED I LIED I DONT LIKE SCIENCE IM JUST USING MAGIC ALL THE TIME! sob sob sob sobob sob sob osb"

"wow realy?" anna was very alarmed. liking science was basically elsas thing, just like liking doridtos was annas. "but elsa liking science is your thing, just like liking doridtos is mine!"

elsa sniffed and sobbed and cried and hugged anna. "IM SORRY I LIED ANNA! I DIDNT EVEN BUILD ELSANNABOTS I JUST–"  
"shhhh its ok bby", anna said and hugged elsa back. the babies didnt do anything, because they were too dumb to understand adult feelings and having lied to one self all of their lives, because babies didnt understand what lies where. if a baby killed somebody and then 20 yrs later somebody axed, "hey baby did you kill anybody ever?" i bet the baby would just say YES likea god dam loser. lol babies suck at thingking.

but the point is that dr house wasnt also doing anything witch was weird because he was a real adult, and could understand identity crisises.

but the reason dr house was doing that was because... HE HAD JUST REALIZED SOMETHING!

"anna", dr house said seriously, "you just said 'doridtos' is your thing. is that true?"

"WOW stop insulting my hobbies my gf is just having an emotional break down" anna said angrily. by the way anna, dr house is kind of right. doridtors arent really a hobby. maybe you should get a life anna.

but then dr house said: "im not insulting your hobbies dumb ass im just axing a question. and if that is true... i presume you also eat doridtors while sexxing each other?"

"only last night because i was very hungry", anna said and continued to hug her mental break downing girlfriend bdsm queen lesbian lover.

"THATS IT!" dr house said victoriously. "elsa doesnt have cancer, expect maybe if my pills gave her that and didtn cure her yet, but THATS NOT THE POINT. the point is that... ELSA IS JUST ALERGIC TO DORIDTORES!"

"wow", anna said surpsisedly. it was true that last night she had eaten doridtores while also biting the flesh of elsas vaggy... and she had just fed doridtoes to baby elsa... so dr house could be right!

"am i right or what?" dr house said smugly. "im the BEST doctor, and i didnt even kill anybody this time with my new experimental treatments. yet i mean. if elsa indeed got cancer. but thats not the point."

"whats the treatment for doridto allergy?" anna axed. "we can cure it right? sorry elsa but if i had to stop eating dordidtoes i would prob just kill my self. LIFE WITHOUT DORIDTOERS IS MEANLINGLESS!"

"a new doridto allergy pill was just develpoed", dr house said. "and the reason is that the queens, WITCH ARE YOU, decided to spend 10000000000 $ on a program to make everyone eat more doridtots. but some people were allergic. so there fore, an alergy pill was made."

"thank god", anna said and cried of happiness. elsa also cried, of hapiness, because she didnt have to die now. and could also eat doridtos!

baby elsa cried also, but it was just because she was too dumb to realize that her life had just saved. GET A GRIP BABY ELSA.

"anyways, ill get the pills", dr house said and went to get the pills.

-

"and now we will break this elsabot apart and fill it with something else... WITH MURDER!" dumledore laughed evilly.

"murder is just a concept bro", kafka sighed. "like bureucracy. i hate it. stop filling robots with it."

"shut up im working here", dumledore sighed and took a huge knife into his hand. luckily elsabot was just a robot and didnt feel pain so dumledore could just cut it open.

so dumledore cut it open from the stomach. BUT THE ELSABOT BEGAN CRYING AND SHOUTING... IN PAIN! wow why does it do that?

"this is indubutably interesting", dumledore said thoughtfully. "why is this robot crying, because robots dont even have feelings? hmmmmm."

"the queens have deathly sex every day", kafka said. "they probably just wanted to make robot death more authentic. so there fore they made them scream when stabbed."

"a fitting explanatition!" dumledore said. "how ever... could there be more to this?"

he decided to cut the elsabots arm out. and made her scream even more. it was just a normal robot arm.

"just a normal robot arm", kafka said smugly because he had been correct. how ever he had NOT been correct. when dumledore carefully examined the arm and cut some things on it...

... THERE WAS A REAL ARM INSINE!

AND IT WAS A BABYS ARM!

"hmmmmmmmmm", dumledore said. "who would have guessed that insine these delicate machines of death, there would be delicate machines of love, babies. that is indeed a thougth provoking fact."

"dude im more thought provoked by the fact that u just cut a baby", kafka said and puked. FUCK BUREAUCRACY he thought. and then he tgouht FUCK BABY DEATH. if there was a bureuracy that killed babies it would p much be kafkas WORST NIGHTMARE EVER. luckily there wasnt.

"this opens a new path for evil plans", dumledore said evilly. "the queens do a lot of questineble actions, but turning babies into slave robots is worst than anything else! if we can make this fact public, the queens reputation will suffer and everyone will begin to rebel against their baby killing tyranny!"

"but how can we make people know", axed kafka. "they could just kill us and say we lied if we said it our selves."

"dont worry", said dumledore evilly, "i will contact the master of leaking classified information...

JULIAN ASSAGNE"

NEXT CHAPTER: WILL KARKAT FINALLY GET OUT OF JAIL? WILL KARKAT HAVE HOT SEXX WITH KURT WALLANDER? HOW BIG IS KURT WALLANDERS PENIS? AND CAN DUMLEDORE AND KAFKA AND JULIAN ASSAGNE REVEAL THAT ELSA AND ANNA KILL BABIES?


	7. JULIAN ASSAGNE VS ELSA

CHAPTER 7: JULIAN ASSAGNE VS ELSA

after being cured by dr house elsa went back to the castle with the babies. expect the one that was in annas belly, and was elsa. and anna went to see dr freud because she had an appointment.

"youre late" dr freud said psychoanalogically when anna opened the door. of coures being late meant NOTHING because the whole bull shit kingdom kind of ran according to elsas and annas whims (like having hottt incest sexx all day). so, there wanst such thing as "being late", but, instead there was "not being in elsannatime", witch was kind of fucking stupid.

"well sorry i was having my girl friend and baby CURED and NOT DIED", anna sighed.

"i didt mean it like that. and anyways everything in this country happens when ever you feel like it my dear queen" freud apologized. "now lets continue with our session"

"what did we talk about last time?" anna axed. "i cant remember because, wow, so much stuff has hapened. my gf cheated on me, and then i forgived her. and some babies mysteriously appeared and also were me and my gf. and then my gf and baby her almost died. and oh im pregnent too WITH MY GF. i mean both 'literaly GOING TO HAVE ELSA COME OUT OF MY VAG' and 'elsa being pregnetn with me AND HAVING ME COME FROM MY VAG'"

"interesting" dr freud said psychoanalytically.  
"whats so interesting bout that"  
"nothing its just a thing we good psychoanalytologicsts say. BUT ANYway please tell me about some dreams you have had in the last nine months."

"why last nine months?" anna axed curiously.

"because the new science theory is, that babies come from another dimension where they see visions of past and future. and there fore if youre pregnant and having a dream the dream might be t rue", dr freud explained. and by the way dr freud thats fucking STUPID and also any dream can be true, at least if u analyze it pssychoanalytically in a pseudo science way, witch YOU KIND OF DO ALL THE TIME.

"ok", said anna. poor anna didnt know dr freuds theories were kind of total bulbshit. NOBODY REALLY WANTED TO SEXX THEIR MOMS except for elsa and anna i guess because they are literaly each others moms because they literally come out of each others vags. prety soon.

and always have sexx together.

BUT THE POINT IS THAT anna told dr freud about a dream, and, it went like this:

"i was like four or some small age like that... and siting in my room, witch is in the castle.

but SUDENLY A very loud nouse happened outside! and i thought it might be danger. so i grabed a kitchen knife and went out side from a door.

and i began to cry because the sky was filled with BLACK SKIES and CREEPY SKELETINS FLIED ALL AROUND and it was basically the most evil scary shit ever. but then the door closed! the door back in i mean. so then i had to go explore in the CREEPY SHIT LAND.

and... and..."

dr freud listened quietly, because listening quitely is good if you wanna actualy hear some thing. anna had told about this dream many times before, but had always stopped there. could she now go on?

anna went on: "and... and... i took some steps and then heard a FUCKING CREEPY VOICE it was basically like 10000 skiletens at the same time and and it sayed..."

"what did it say?" axed dr freud interestedly and psychoanalytilogically..

"it said..." anna said and began to cry. because obviously the scarey dream was TRUE and a REAL CHILDHOOD EVENT, and she had just supressed the memory. thats what dr freud says. some times at least. other times its really that annas mom sexually abubsed or that she is scared of her non existant penis faling off or some dumb shit like that.

BUT THE POINT IS THAT ANNA SAID THAT THE SCAREY VOICE SAID THAT: "DO... YOU... WANNA... BUILD... A... SNOWMAN...?"

"wow thats scarey", dr freud gulped. "anyways sesion over. lets discuss this next time. if u see your lesbian bdsm queen", said dr freud sacrastically because elsa and anna had sex at least 6 times a day, "tell her to check her e mail. i sent some really important info there."

"ok", anna cried because she was still scared and then left.

-

"OHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHH", kurt wallander moaned and showed his HUGE DICK (length almost 0,2m) into karkats mouth. while karkats two penises (hate penis and love penis) were in wallanders ass. SO. HOT?! expect not as hot as elsanna. but anyway.

but anyway the scary fact here is that while "coming" in to the cell (and later "coming" in to karkat lol) wallander had left the cell door open. and OLAF THE SNOWMAN had escaped. and come on thats obviously BAD. did you read the last bit at all? go read it again dumb ass. OLAF THE SNOWMAN IS BASICALLY EVIL. thats what im saying.

but anyway, karkat was suddenly distracted from the HOTTT GAY PRISONER/POLICE SEX because the snowman had escaped. "HOLY SHIT", he said. "THE FUCKING CREEPY SNOWMAN WITH MULTIPLE SEXUAL CRIMES IN ITS NAME HAS ESCAPED! FUCK, SHOULD WE MAYBE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?"

wallander came as fast as he could. "dude you could be right. that bastard is probably the worst criminal i have locked up here."

"YOU ONLY HAVE TWO CRIMINALS!" karkat angered. "AND I BARELY QUALIFY AS A CRIMINAL, CONSIDERING THE 'CRIME' I COMMITTED IS BARELY A CRIME, AND IS ONLY COUNTED AS ONE DUE TO THIS FUCKING SORRY EXCUSE FOR A JUSTICE SYSTEM!"

"bro you might be right yeah", wallander said and quickly put his cloths on. with out them the towns folk could be distracted by his HOT, DEPRESSED OLD SWEDISH DETECTIVE BODY. but not really wallander looked like a 17 yr old boy in his prime, but really was a depresed swedish detective. "maybe i should just like go and lock that demon snowman the fuck up"

"WHAT ABOUT ME?" karkat further angered. "I DIDN'T HAVE ALL THAT SEX FOR MY PLEASURE INSTEAD OF MY FUCKING FREEDOM!"

"dude i already said you could go like four hours ago", wallander facepalmed. karkat didnt say anything.

and then wallander left. because he had a demon snowman to lock the fuck up. and karkat also left after putting his clothes on.

-

elsa sighed VERY loudly and passively aggressively. having tea with some ass hole international quests was p much the boringest thing about being a queen. what the hell is the point, elsa thought. what are they going to do nuke us LOl?

"who were you again", she sighed and looked at the man who was for some reason smiling very evilly. elsa didnt care because she already thought everyone foreign was evil. elsa thats kind of racist and NOT proper behaviour for a queen.

though habing public lesbien bdsm incest sex might not be also? elsa youre kind of being a BAD QUEEN here, get a grip.

"im julien assagne", julien assagne said.

"no i mean whats your point", elsa sighed. "what r u doing here? threatening our kingdom AGAIN with nukes? i already had dumledore destroy the country to the west went they threatened war so thats not gonna work. if nuclear fallout is your agenda here mr assassgne then you can just go, thers the door."

"no thats not my agenda here", julian assagne said and smiled some more evilly. "btw this tea is good what flavor is it?"

"blood of executed servants."

"hmm", julian assagne said thoughtfully. drinking blood of executed servants could KIND OF be bad for the public image of the queens but then again killing babies was already p bad. like pretty much always if theres some fictious evil dictator then whats the first thing they do? heres a fucking spoiler: its baby murder, all of the time. like they see some abadnoned baby on the road and then god damn STEP ON IT. DAMN. splat. there goes the baby, and there go all hope that this dude here is NOT an evil dictator, because who other than evil dictators LITERALLY KILL BABIES? like seriously? no body thats who.

"but im sure youre having some sort of agenda here..." elsa said. "i mean. last time some foreign visitors came i and elsa had hott incest bdsm lesbien knife sexx in front of them and made the wife faint. so im p sure ppl know nobody comes to this kingdom for fun... so whats your plan ass dude?"

"fine, i shall then reveal my plan", julian assagne said. "and the evil plan is... that... HAH! i have recieved photographic evidence of the fact that yor murdersexkillrobots have actualy BABIES INSIDE OF THEM. and, that implises that this kingdom is full of BABYMURDER, because how else are you gonna get dead baby parts? so, ANY MINUTE I LIKE..."

assagne pulled out a small button that said "LEAK" on it.

"... i can simply press this button, and send the pixx to 1000 news stations, and destroy your dictatorical 'kingdom' for good."

"is that even conected to the internet?" elsa axed hopefully.  
"i already guessed your wifi password"  
"right, damn", elsa damned and told to herself she should change her wifi password from "ELSANNA" to something that might be harder to guess.

"so, r u gonna offer me something?" assagne axed and smiled evilly. "by the way", he said when elsa grabbed a near by knife, "the files will be automatically sent unless i report to my server in a hour. so you shouldnt really kill me"

"your plan is very evil", elsa admitted. "leak it, bro."

"what?" assagned was shocked. "thats not cool, just give me some money and ill not do it."

"no", elsa said angrily. "if i cannot rule this kingdom, then it shall go down with the flames. all way to the hell. burn it to the fucking ground, and make sure to kill every ass hole that has ever done something mildly annoying to me. especially those whom i now know sent you."

assagne sighed. he didnt really plan to cause probable huge catastrophes, mass murder, famine, death, instability and other apocapyltic scenarios today. but he guessed he had no other choice. "as you wish", he said sadly and a single tear droped from his eye.

assagne pressed the LEAK button. the internet signal was sent. probably using java script or something web scale like that.

and at the same time elsa stabbed assagnes face.

AND THEN THE CHAOS BEGAN.

-

some minutes earlier, dr house was treating a difficult patient, who had lost like 90% of her blood, and was also other wise mostly dead.

but after giving cancer medicine, hiv medicine, malaria medicine, cold medicine, aids medicine, alzheimer medicine, and doridto allergy medicine, the girl was cured. and also dr house replaced her lost limbs with prostetic body parts.

the patient was good as new! expect that she had a HUGE scar (length almost 0,4m) on her face, as if stabbed there.

"wow", said dr house after the patient woke up. "i really wonder what the fuck happened to you. this might even be a crime, so it should be wise to report it to the police station."

the girl laughed evilly. "hehEHEhheehHEEHHahaHAHAAHhHA... tHheRErS No ONEeed FOpr That.t... BeCAUSe I WWIlll HAvEA MY EReVEnge ON MY OWNn1! HAHAhAHAhHAAHhHAAHah!"

and then gunilla screamed evilly and madly and ran away. probably to get some revenge, or something like that.

NEXT CHAPTER: ARDELIAS KINGDOM FALLS APART! WILL WALLANDER CAPTURE THE EVIL SNOWMAN? WILL GUNILLA HAVE HER REVENGE? WILL ELSA AND ANNA FIND TIME TO HAVE SEX IN THE CHAOS? AND WILL THEY FINALLY GIVE BIRTH TO SOME BABIES?


	8. THE FALL OF ARDELIA

CHAPTER 8: THE FALL OF ARDELIA

julien assagne was bleeding, and also on the floor, aftrer being stabbed by elsa for like 2000 times. u should NEVER let elsa stab things, because she gets so much SEXUAL SATISFACTION from it and will do it again and again and masturbate in the middle! just an advice if you sometimes see elsa, and have things that need stabbing.

BUT ANYWAY THERE WAS A POINT HERE, AND IT WAS: julian assagne is dying. jesus christ. and WILL DIE unless something is done, thats what dying means you dumbasses.

"i cant believe im dying", juelian assagne sniffed. "please dont kill me"

"i will BECAUSE YOU DESTROYED MY KINGDOM!" elsa angered and stabbed julian assagne into his leg, witch made more pain come but didnt kill. elsa was also good at not killing with stabs but instead causing pain with stabs.

"aaHHHH!" julian assagne moaned with pain. "no... noo... you stupid fuckass... .im p sure that YOU DOOMED THE KINGDOM YOUR SELF for refusing to give me money for not leaking the seceret... idiot"

"DONT INSULT ME", elsa angered, "OR I WILL KILL YOU, AND BECOME A GODDESS OF DEATH, AND BRING YOU BACK INTO LIFE, AND THEN KILL YOU AGAIN! AND MANY TIMES AGAIN!"

"im alredy dead", julian assagned sighed.

"wow your not?" elsa questioned.

"it was a god damn FIGURE OF SPEECH", julien assagne angered. "i have SO MANY stab wounds not even a legendary surgeon such as dr house could stitch me back together."

"then use your final moments of life FOR GOOD", elsa suggested. "im at least 90 per cent sure theres going to be lots of chaos and DEAD PEOPLE and DYING PEOPLE and the whole of ardelia WILL DIE! BECAUSE! OF! YOU!"

"again you dumbass NOT BECAUSE OF ME", julian assagne angered. "and theres not going to be a chaos, why the fuck do you think so? probably you and your stupid lesbien princess sister incest cousin will just be executed"

"so you DONT know the truth of elsannabots", elsa sighed. "the truth is that: they have a TELEPAHTICAL CONNECTION to me and elsa and will probably FLIP THE FUCK OUT MURDEROUSLY very soon!"

"that doestn even make sens–" julian assagne started, but then died, of stab.

and then thousands of elsannabots flipped the fuck out murderously.

-

anna was walking back from dr freuds session and like thinking of her mental health. and probably also thinking of sex with elsa. everybody in this asshole kingdom thought always of sex with elsa. because the kingdom was mostly elsannabots who thought of sex with elsa. the point here is: sex with elsa, why the hell? because ? it probably just involves stabbings and dyings and all sorts of pains?

but anna didnt care. suddenly she saw dr house.

"hi dr house!" anna helloed.

"hi ass hole", dr house said and spit on anna.

"wow", anna angered, "i and elsa graciously not execute you and THATS HOW YOU THANK US? being a queen is very hard, because you asshole citizens are NEVER GOD DAMN HAPPY. wow, im so mad!"

"calm your tits", dr house said. "im escaping clinic duty or something like that, not arguing with ass hole bdsm incest lessbian queens."

anna was about to say something angry back, but suddenly thousands of elsannabots flipped the fuck out murderously.

it was basically the murderiest rampage in all of ardelia, and thats saying a lot, because elsa flipped the fuck out and went on a murderous rampage approximately once a year. but now, the murderously rampaging were a WHOLE FUCKING LOT OF ELSAS, and also some annas, tho anna wasnt really THAT murderous. more like the annabots just wanted some money to buy some doridtos, and the easiest way to get money is crime. or i guess, starting a company or working or something like that, but annabots probably didnt have any education and they wanted doridtos NOW. i mean, what if everybody was just given free doridtos would there even be crime? i doubt it.

but anyways, the point was: that millions of elsannabots or how many the fuck there even were began to just fuck up everything. they punched babies (luckily not elsannababies) to their faces and stole their candy witch was kind of useles because THE BABYS ALREADY DEAD? I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK robots dont even eat foo.

and elsannabots also knifed some grannies. and other people. and dedstroyed public property with hottt robot lesbien bdsm sexxx. everything was messed up, and becoming more messed up with a fuck fast rate.

"oh no we need to stop sosietys destruction fuck!" anna screamed alarmedly.  
"i dont even care at this point", dr house said. but dr house was WRONG because SOSIETYS DESTRUCTION MATTERS! EVEN IF DONE by hot as hell elsannabots.

anna punched a elsabot SO HARD ITS METAL ASS JUST BLEW THE FUCK UP and threw metal robot bits everywhere. and also REAL HUMAN or i guess ROBOT BLOOD? witch was kind of alarming, but anna failed to become more alarmed, because her alarm state was already HIGH AS FUCK. theres not even more alarm than that, its just god damn impossible. laws of physics say SORRY THATS IMPOSSIBLE.

but the point was that anna was being all heroic, and, ROBOT ASS KICKING, but it wasnt enough. too much robots.

"theres too much of them!" anna cried when she saw that in the distance four annabots were ripping an elredrly woman apart from her limbs.

"fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck", dr house said witch MAY make you think hes secretly karkat in disguise, but thats NOT THE CASE, 100% true.

"whats wrong dr house?" anna axed, but uhhhh anna evil murder sex robots were basically annhilating all of existence, or at least ardelia? so thats wrong? isnt it kind of obvious?

but dr house was kind of an asshole, remember, so he said: "dr cuddys gonna make me do some INSANE CLINIC DUTY because of all hurt and slash or dead ppl"

anna angered because wow, she actually CARED about her kingdom a little, but not enough to fix its problems.

"dr house!" anna screamed. "your gonna come with me and LETS FIND ELSA! even tho her magycs is fake her super smartness will solve the problems!1"

-

after killing julien assagne elsa was sneaking around the palace like obi wan in ep 4 but the stormtropers were sexxy robot versions of him. hey gerge lucas if u see this in the futuer PLEASE USE TIME TRVAVAL AND MAKE THAT HAPPEN IN STAR WORS! thx in advance.

but the poiint were making here is that: elsa doesnt die because of robot murder. u go gurl.

but then elsanna though to her self because she was actualy not stupid: "wow how can i fix this enormous murder robot problem? hmmm..."

and then she realized... she had to call DAVE STRIDER! who was fore shadowed like in chapter two? what the fuck i just realized this fan fic fucking BLOWS. it fucking even says that dave x karkat is there so WHAT THE FUCCKK?

but anwyays, the point is: before elsanna could call dave, he SUDDENLY TIME TRAVELED OUT OF NOWHERE!

"what the fuck", elsa axed.  
"sup", dave strider said. he was a hot 17yr male with HOT MUSCLES (radius almost 0.4m) and HUGE PENIS (length almost 0.2m). and was basically sexxxy. expect that elsa didnt like boys, expect, for STABBings.

so maybe she didnt find dave hot after all?

"why the fuck r u here", elsa axed furiously. uhhh, elsa? you just said? that you want to call him? so maybe u should be thankful or some thing.

"i came as fast as i could", dave said, "by witch i mean time travel witch is p much the fastest a dude can go."

"lets prove it formally", elsa said basically ignoring the whole deathsexbot troubles going on? SO GOOD JOB ELSA? "first, assume t is the time elapsed in a fastest way to travel some distance. as long as t is finite, witch it is, we can always use time travel to arrive before the dude who takes t time to get there. and now we have a contridiction since t should have been the fastest! Q E D BIPTCHES"

"good job", dave said with so much sarcasm it almost destroyed the whole universe, almost. "btw u should maybe call me since thats what prompts me to come here in the first place"

"ok", elsa agreed and took her smart phone that was shaped like anna. stroking its vag sensially turned the thing on. "hey dave strider come over i need some time travel experts"

"and now you could tell me what the hell the problem actually is", dave said.

"dont tell me what to do", elsa angered. "and anyways, i dont know what the problem is! other than there are murderiously rampaging murdersexbots. i just kinda figured time travel was involved since there were some mysteroius time travel babies, that looked like me, and also anna, who is my lesbien bdsm sex queen lover."

"what", dave said.

but he had no time to question the premise of the narrative (and tbh thats like kindf of good since the whole thing is a bunch of bs) because THERE WAS A CONFORATTION! basically shits like in the movies, when, some bad guys suddenly arrive. and maybe there are some good guys too. and theyre p sure to point guns and slash or other weapons at each other. THE POINT IS THAT THESE PARTIES ARRIVED AND THUSLY ASSUMED AN OFFENSIVE POSITION INDUBUTABLY TO FUCKING KILL EACH OTHER:

1) anna and dr house sudenly appeared and ran to elsa and dave. elsa and anna kissed passionately witch was kind of stupid because of the whole epic conforation thing. but anyways elsa and anna pointed knifes at the enemies (WHO WILL SOON BE DETAILED IN EXCESSIVE DETAILING) and dave had a sword. and dr house had a cane but it was kind of useless since. 1st. its a piece of wood? so what? thats not gonna hurt as much as a fucking sword or knife. 2st. dr house you dumb ass cant even walk without the thing? so dr house was p much useless in this fight.

2) karkat appeared and said some cures words. but he does that all the time. and anyways cures words fucking SUCK as weapons unless your fighting some old ladies who faint when u say them. so karkat, maybe you should maybe u know NOT FIGHT? AND RUN AWAY? well see if that gets you killed, but GOOD JOB (SARCASTICALLY) in advance.

3) olaf the snowman also came (as did elsa and anna) with kurt wallander chasing him. or "it", if snowmans dont even have genders. but do they? im p sure theyre called snowMAN for a reason, stupid? but then again, they dont really have brains or hormomes or reproduction parts or ANYTHING thats usually asociated with gender slash sex. buuuuut usually snowmans dont have personalities? and arent alive? so im p sure you COULD say that olaf the snow man was a man. but shits irrelevent to the fight anyways, hes just a snow man. and kurt wallander is there.

4) the evil dudes dumledore, kafka and dr freud came. and i guess wallanders a evil dude too, but hes not there is he? so the evil dudes EXPECT wallander came. and they were pointing magyc wands and guns and phalloses at the heroes, if we can actualy call elsa and anna "heroes" since they do p much a fuck ton of bad shit.

5) AN ARMY OF ELSANNABOTS! CAME OUT OF NOWHERE! like the rest of the fighting dudes. and they are armed with knifes and lesbien love, witch is the GREATEST WEAPON OF ALL, so everybody should watch out. tho everybody should anyway watch out, because everybodys kind of being dangerous with weapons pointing at each other! but the point is that elsannabots are ALSO a sign of danger.

and then basically a cliff hanger happens and the next chapter will show WHO LIVES, WHO DIES and WHO GIVES BIRTH!

NEXT CHAPTER: RECURSIVE METAPHYSICAL INFINITE CHILDBIRTH CLUSTERFUCK (with HOTT LESBIEN SEX, BURAUCRACY AND SONG!)!


	9. FINALE

CHAPTER 9: RECURSIVE METAPHYSICAL INFINITE CHILDBIRTH CLUSTERFUCK (with HOTT LESBIEN SEX, BURAUCRACY AND SONG!)!

elsa and anna readyed their knifes.  
dumledore readied his magyc wand.  
kafka readied his magic rifle created by dumledore witch could shoot 90000 bullets in 3 seconds.  
dr freud readied his phallos shaped gun.  
wallander readiyed his GUN, witch was loaded with DEUDLY BULBETS, jesus chrits.  
and karkat didnt ready any thing because aparently he missed that this was gonna be a fucking fight! GOOD JOB! but oh wait, he had the elsa and anna babies from the future. witch he aparently just found. but dude babies arent weapons? so try something else bro?  
and olaf the funny snow man did nothing.  
and oh dave strider readied his HUGE SWORD (length almost 1m).  
the elsannabots readied what ever things they had like knifes and guns and other things. they had p much all kinds of deathly stuff.  
and dr house fell down because he readied his cane too much.

ITS SHOW DOWN TIME BITCHES!

but sudenly DAVE STRIDER TIME TRAVELED EVERYONE... INTO THE PAST!

"what the FUCK", elsa axed angrily.

"dude those sexbots were looking kinda murdely with knifes and shit", dave said. "just thought that maybe we should save our asses while we still could"

"neverthless, the true nature of our confortation remains!" dumledore said angrily. "i declare the meeting has begun at... wait what the hell whats the time this is the past"

"dunno", said dave. "dude shouldnt you since youre the 'best at magic' or some shit like that"

"I DONT KNOW THE CLOCK MAGIc!" dumledore angered and furiously casted a spell that made a big thunder storm appear with rain and lignting and all kinds of moody showdown stuff. "ENOUGHT! SINCE I CANNOT EXTERMINATE YOU WITH ALL BURAUCRAYTIC METHODS REQUIRED, I SHALL MAKE YOUR BLOOD FLOW ON THESE STREETS OF THE PAST! MY WRATHFUL SPELLS WILL BE THE WEAPON WITCH TEARS YOUR BODIES TO SHREDS AND UTTERLY DECIMATES YOUR WHOLE LIFES SO THAT NOBODY IN THE TIME CONTINUUM SHALL KNOW WHO WERE ELSA AND ANNA! AND THEN I SHALL FINALLY GAIN MY PLACE AS THE RIGHTFUL RULER OF ARDELIA! AND ABOLISH THE TORMENTING DICTATORSHIP OVERSEEN BY TWO RUTHLESS QUEENS WHOSE DEATH WILL BE A FACT OF CELEBRATION FOR ALL SOULS KNOWN TO MANKIND! AND A NEW AGE OF PEACE AND PROSPETITY SHALL RISE, AND YEARS TO COME SHALL BE THE MOST FORTUNOUS OF ALL! DIE MOTHER FUCKERS! BECAUSE! I! AM! A! GOD! DAMN! MASTERFUL! WIZARD! W!H!O!I!S!T!H!E!B!E!S!T!O!F!A!L!L!T!I!M!E!"

kafka dropped his gun. because he had planned to kill himself when hearing about "bureucracy", but now there was none of it. but dropping the gun was kind of bad. because in a battle, you KILL OTHERS with your fucking weapon, not leave it there? seriously?

"where r we anyway" elsa axed dave in the middle of dumledores epic meltdown.

"uhh bro in the past obviously", dave said. "but the fucking big castle doesnt exist yet so were just somewhere where it would be in the past"

so this was past ardelia! elsa thought. but why did that even matter? elsa didnt really know.

but then olaf the snow man punched karkat to the face and took his babies. "ha! now i have the babies... and my master can soon consume them!"

"hey karkat you should maybe do something about that" dave screamed at his bf. "but now its show time bitches"

dave jumped at dumledore.

"DEATHUM APOCALYPSIOINFERNALUS!" dumledore screamed. oh shit dave thought that was a very advanced spell, kind of like a stronger avorda kebabdra. suddenly SATAN bursted out of dumledores wand but dave killed it with his sword.

"FOILED THE FUCK AGAIN YOU BASTARD!" dumledore angered and evaded daves deadly sword decapitation. "BUT NOW YOU WILL SEE MY TRUE POWER... EVILIUM DARTHNIME!"

mean while elsa and anna were fighting dr freud and kafka. kafka was firing with his magic rifle every where and killing many nearby residents. dr freuds phallos gun was useless because you had to press it like 200 times for it to do ANYTHING.

"whoops", kafka said as he axidentally exterminated the fuck out of a old lady who was sitting nearby. "i am not good with artilery. it sucks as much as BURAUCRACY (FUCK BURAUCARCY!)"

"you have comitted severe crimes agains ardelia" elsa angered. she and anna held knifes next to kafkas head and were ready to stab...

until they sudenly experienced the... MIRACLE OF CHILD BIRTH! JESUS FUCK!

"oaaahaahhhahahahhhh", elsa screamed and fell down, failing to stab anything.  
"uuhuhuaohaohhaohoohhhhh", anna monaed and fell down, failing to stab anything. expect elsa. she came a little.

and they began having some babies, witch were them.

"hehehehehe", kafka smiled. "even with my dubious acuracy... theres no easier target than women giving birth! bye bye, ass hole bdsm lesbien sex lover incest queens! i hope they make you do buraucarcy IN HELL!"

but maybe that last epic line was too much, because suddenly DR HOUSE CAME AND DECAPITATED KAFKA WITH HIS CANE!

"wow hows that even possible", elsa axed. "your canes wood?"

"no", dr house said, "actually its ICE STEEL, witch is the best material that can look like anything and it can kill everybody"

"i know that i invented it", elsa said. "oohhh aahahaha fuck im having a baby! oohaahhahah!"

and then dr house began helping elsa and anna with baby having. and dr house ran away. because he was scared of being stabbed, and his phallos gun experienced suden erectile disfunction.

and mean while in the olaf vs karkat battle karkat was basically punching the snow man into his god damn fACE! but it wanst doing anything.

"how do you except to kill me, when, i am made of snow?" olaf laughed evilly.

"DIE, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SNOWMAN MADE OF FECES OF DEPRESSED CHILDREN WHOSE PARENTS DIED IN CAR ACCIDENTS AFTER SEEING YOUR FUCKING UGLY FACE AND RIDING OFF THE ROAD ON PURPOSE!" karkat raged.

the babies began to cry, because olaf was touching them inapropirately. wow, thats evil even for a snow man. especially because usually snow men dont do anything. they just kind of exist. like, wow? how is he even alive any ways, expect because of MAGIC, witch is the god damn explanation for EVERYTHING in this story.

suddenly, KURT WALLANDER PUNCHED OLAF TO THE FACE! and this time it worked because he had the strenghth of a deprssed swedish detective. and olaf fainted. and dropped the babies, because thats what happens when you faint. you DROP BABIES. luckily karkat was fast enought to grab them before their lesbien bdsm heads collided with the ground and fucking exploded.

"WHAT THE FUCK", karkat screamed angerily.

"shhh the hell up dude we have to run before dumledore flips the fuck out and magicmurders all of us", kurt wallander whispered.

and mean while in the dumledore vs dave fight... dumledore hath just casteth a special spell, the infamously terrific EVILIUM DARTHNIME.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA", dumledore laughed. "AT LAST THE VICTORY SHALL BE MINE, AND I SHALL BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES WHOM I MIGHTILY SLAY THIS VERY MOMENT!"

"oh shit" said dave when he saw what happened. and the thing that happened was that a red lasoer beam BURSTed from dumledores wand...

"PUSH!" dr house scramed. "birth those fuckin babies bros!"

"oaahhahaohohaohoaohoaheoheoh", anna moaned.  
"yyhhhyuoihhoyiyyhhyohohyohyohy", elsa cried.

for some reason, the queens had LOTS more pain than normally in birthing, dr house noticed after measuring it with his pain measurer.

"ah now i remember", the dr house said. "as the old legend says, the ardelian royalty shall be born holding knifes! so you have fucking babies knifing you to death inside you."

"aahhhh fucckkkk", elsa screamed in PAIN. pain larger than in your heart when ur mom tells you to stop looking at elsanna pix.

"but i have a medicine for pain", dr house said. "LETS SING A FUCKING SONG"

and they singed:

 _im havin a baby and the baby is you_  
 _id birth my lesbien love its true_

dave screamed at shock when he saw where dumledores magiclaser beam was heading: DIRECTLY AT THE VAGS OF ELSA AND ANNA!

 _im havin a baby and the baby is you_  
 _incestbabies up the avenue_

elsa screamed in pain. anna screamed in pain. the babies were born the fuck out all over dr houses face, and now layed crying and doing baby things on the street.

 _im a havin a baby and the baby is you_  
 _its knife is stuck at my wazoo_

the laser advanced... DIRECTLY AT THE BABIES... HOLY FUCK...

 _im having a a baby and the baby is you_  
 _ur gonna come (out my hoohoo)_

but at the LAST SECOND, dave time travled the babies for wards in time. and they became the magic time travel babies. witch were now in karkats and wallanders hands.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!" dumledore screamed madly while rain and thunder poured dramatically on his face.

"m-my baby!" elsa scraemd.  
"my-my babby!" anne screamed.

"dont worry i time traveled them to safety", dave said. "btw theyre actually those fuckin babies over there", he said and pointed at karkat and wallander and olaf the snow man who was lying on the street. knocked the fuck out. served his right. FUCK THAT SNOW MAN every body thought.

but then dumledore followed where dave pointed and saw that... WALLANDER WAS FRIENDLY WITH KARKAT! AND A TRAITOR!

"oh shit", wallander said.  
"HOLY FUCK", karkat said.  
"what", dave axed.  
"mmmmmmm", elsa said hottily and had hot post child birth sex with anna.  
"somebody give me some fucking vicoydin im DYING HERE FUCK" dr house said after realizing that he had falled on the street after using his cane as a weapon.

"YYYOOUUUUUU!" dumledore screamed and pointed his wand at wallander. "YOU PARASITE! YOU, A TRUE TRAITOR AMONG THE MOST TRAITOROUS IN THIS CRAPSACK WORLD! AFTER ALL THESE YEARS I HELPED YOU ANY WAY I COULD... AND YOUR PAY BACK IS... BECOMING 'TOO FRIENDLY' WITH THE VERY ENEMY WE ARE SUPPOSED TO SLAY? REMOVE YOUR HAND FROM KARKATS PANTS THIS INSTANT OR I SHALL KILL YOU!"

and the wizord lowered his voice dramatically. tbh it was getting kind of over dramatic dont you think dumledore? hmmm?

"you will shoot that bastard troll this instant" dumledore whispered "or i will kill the both of you"

"then you will HAVE TO", wallander said dramatically and everyone gasped. expect elsa and anna. they were having hott lesbien sexx while these events took place. kind of fucking irresponsible huh? after all? those are? YOUR BABIES? that karkat is holding?

"very well" dumledore whispered and pointed his wand at karkat. "but do remember that i shall torture the both of you. i shall inflict upon you pain that is more serious than anythign anybody has ever experienced in the whole history of the universe. i will personally crush your most vulnerable body parts and heal them again, ensuring that the torture shall never end! AND THOU SHALL FEEL SORRY FOR WHAT THY HAVE DONE!"

wallander looked at dumledores wand, ready to fire some evil pain spell like CRUCIOTUS MAXIMUM or TORTURIUS SATANUS. they were stronger versions of the crucification curse in hary potter canon.

so, he made a decision.

"im sorry", wallander said at karkat and shed a single tear while SHOOTING HIM THE FUCK TO THE HEAD! BOOM BOOM BITCHES!

and karkat fell to the ground, DEAD. thats what happens when a depressed swedish detective shoots you to the fucking head.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" dave screamed because what the fuck? kurt wallander just killed his bf? AND THEY DIDNT EVEN HAVE SEX YET IN THIS FIC!

so dave leaped forward and DECAPITATED THE FUCK OUT OF WALLANDER, striking his head with his sword. wallander was DEAD. AS. HELL.

"and now", said dumledore, "i shall complete my plan... and MURDER THE QUEENS WHO ARE AS EVIL AS SATAN AND HITLER COMBINED AND RAISED TO THE 666TH POWER!"

dumledore casted a spell: "MORTEM SADOMASOCHIOS!"

every body gasped, even the sex having girls. because that was a evil spell that KILLED EVERY SADOMASOCHIST IN A RADIUS OF 10m. and thats basically what elsa and anna were! oh no!

"ahahahoouucch", anna screamed when dumledores spell hit her. and she came because she was a masochist.

but elsa didnt scream. or came.  
elsa drew out an old looking MAGIC WAND!

"PROTECTIUM DUMLEDORIUM!"

dumledore gasped. "ELSA! i though you were supposed to be a scientist who didnt like magycs!"

dumledores spell exploded and didnt work. tho it still caused anna to came, witch was good? elsa made a mental note that magics could improve their sex life. remember when that was the point of the fan fic?

"you are WRONG", elsa said badassly. "i may be a woman of rationality, but that does not hinder my magical abilities... or my will to (ab)use them!"

then anna remembered she was also magic, but only fire magic. so she joined the fight! OMG IT WAS NOW DUMLEDORE VS DAVE, ELSA AND ANNA! holy shit.

"stabbium incestium!" elsa casted. a magic icicle made of incest BURSTED out from her wand and went flying towards dumledore!

"YOU FOOL", dumledore laughed evilly. "MOTIUM INVERTIUM!" the icicle began to now fly towards elsa! but luckily anna melted it with his fire powers.

"FUCKING DIE!" dave screamed slightly angry that he couldnt magic, and there fore, was considarably less bad ass because he couldnt scream cool magics. but he grabbed dumledores long as fuck beard and began mobving around him, strangling the old man with his beard!

and then anna used fire magic and SET IT ON FIRE.

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" screamed dumledore. elsa wanted also to contribute so she stabbed dumledore to his left foot.

"TAKE THIS!" anna screamed and threw a doridto towards dumledore. and dumledore was ALLERGIC TO DORIDTOES! so he got an allergic reaction, witch was DEADTH.

"noooooo..." dumledore coughed with his last breaths. "reincarnatium... temporalium..."

but after casting the last spell, he DIED. rip.

the elsa and anna babies were laying on karkats and wallanders bodies. and covered in their blood. they screamed harder than ur mum when she sees u looking at elsanna pix.

"hopefully those dumb babies dont get any LASTING PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE", dr house said.

"dont worry were just fine!" elsa said happily. "i mean... those babies ARE past versions of me and anna, right?"

"yeah looks like it", dave said. "guess we should just... leave them here so that they can become you in the future? oh wait, thats a stupid fucking plan. who are your parents, bdsm queens?"

"they are called mr and mrs frozen", elsa said. "and they live right there, in that house."

"great" dave said. "lets just drop these babies over there and..."

"WAIT!" some body screamed. every body looked around and DR FREUD WAS THERE!

"stop RIGHT THERE or i will FUCKING KILL YOU", elsa said and pointed a knife at dr freud threateningly. but uhh elsa? you also have a magic wand? witch is like 100 times more threatning? so maybe point THAT at the dr? i mean seriously magic is just like the STRONGEST FORCE EVER because this bullshit fic has so many non canon spells and elsa seriously ur like the 2ND BEST AT MAGIC after dumledore and guess what HES DEAD SO YOUR THE BEST NOW!

"oh" dr freud said. "you cant tho"  
"and WHY THE FUCK NOT?" elsa angered.

"because", dr freud sighed, "didnt you read the e mail i sent you? seriously youve done p much NOTHING related to running a kingdom after that... expect unleashing an army of deudly murder bots maybe. but ANYWAYS the point is that: the 1st recorded instance of some body giving birth to some body who already lives is NOT dave strider."

"k", elsa said. "whose the birth giver then?"

"the birth giver elsa... is YOU!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" elsa screamed. "but wait thats not actually a bad thing is it? but what the hell anyways?"

"the recorded instance of some one giving birth to some body who already lives is you, and the instance is now", freud said. "i saw it. and now im going to just go normaly for wards in time and become the great psychitrist i already am"

"lol" anna laughed. "ur theories SUCK so much they could only be created by stable time loops! heheheheheeh"

anna and elsa high fived. in their vags.

dr freud angered: "you will how ever REGRET the way you treat me. my existence is infinite and paradoxical. i know many things... but i will not tell them unless you apologize for what you have done."

"i already paid you for being our psichiatrist so GTFO", elsa shouted.

"very well", dr freud sighed, "but do not enjoy your victory before it is actually hapening..."

and then walked away dramatically.

"god riddance" dr house said sarcasticaly. "im already a better psychiatrist than dr freud and i studied surgery"

but then...

DUMLEDORES CORPSE BEGAN TO MOVE!

-

mean while in the future, witch is actualy where gunilla is after being healed by dr house, gunilla was being healed by dr house. and then left to get a REVENGE. thats what happened.

but anyways, the point is that revenge is impossible because elsa and anna time traveled away! gunilla was sneaking in the shadows (and not being killed by elsannabots because they were distracted by her HUGE BOOBS) but then... every body expect teh robots time traveled away!

"hmmmmmm", gunilla said. her life had just lost its meaning, witch was SAD AS HELL. seriously thats SO SAD? almost as sad as ur some body saying elsanna will never be canon (SIRIOUSLY IT WILL JUST SEE THE DAMN MOVIE IT PRACITACLY CONFIRMS ELSANNA! god)

but we have a point here and the point is: gunilla is sad. and not doing anything.

but then she suddenly realized: what the fuck? whats the point of wanting revenge on elsa and anna anyway if theyre disappeared some where? p sure to be DEAD too because queens dont just sudenly vanish.

and then she realized something else: shit was getting all kinds of maximally fucked up in the whole kingdom. elsannabots were punching babies SO HARD THEY DIED. elsannabots were ripping peoples legs off and knifing old women TO THEIR FACES. and annabots were burning people to death with fire powers. and also defrosting every bodys frozen veggies WITCH IS ALSO EVIL AS HELL. i mean theres like THOUSANDS of annabots and the whole fucking kingdom is PERPETUALLY, ALWAYS 100% FROZEN so ts p likely that nothing can be grown there... so like ppl cannot eat vegetables EVER again because annabots will just ruin them? THATS SO BAD WOW CALM YOUR TITS ANNABOTS

but the point here: ardelia was p much turning into an actuall hell, and very fast.

"I NEED TO SAVE THIS KINGDOM!" gunilla screamed and suddenly ran away, because she didnt like have an actual plan or anything. uuuhhhh gunilla? maybe you SHOULD, since elsannabots will probably just attack you REGARDLESS OF DISTRACTINGLY HOTT BOOBES the very minute u something to stop them? so stop running around like a dumb ass and actually plan something?

but she didnt YET ANYWAYS because a good story has cliff hangers.

-

"holy shit", elsa said "who would have thought that dumledores last spell witch was 'reincarnatium temporalium' would actually make him live again after some time"

"HOLY SHIT THATS NOT THE WORST" anna screamed and pointed at the other direction where something VERY DRAMATIC AND STARTLING AND SCARY WAS HAPENING...

... and the thing that was happenig was that...

OLAF THE SNOW MANS CORPES BEGAN TO MOVE TOO!

but wait, actualy is the snow man even dead? i mean wallander punched him to the face, but uhhh does that really kill snow men? i mean wallander isnt some super human i think hes just an ordinary derpessed swedish detective who is sad and depressed because his children died and mother died and father is alcoholic and lives in shit country of sweden that is full of crimes. crimes every fucking day. when u go to the store to get some milk for making pan cakes WHOOPS THERES A MURDER. and when you go to bank to axe for money and buy a car and escape the shit hole country WHOOPS THERES A ROBBERY. and when u go to the bar to drink because your depressed because crime WHOOPS TERORISTS ATTACK. seriouslu? no wonder wallanders depressed.

of course, this doesnt actually mean anything since wallander doesnt live in sweden... but in ARDELIA. but wait, thers more: ARDELIA IS ALSO A SHIT HOLE. i mean lets look at those situations again: u go to the store, and the store only sells doridtors and pan cakes. and to make the matters worse, robotic clones of the queens are knifing each other and also customers. and having sex all the time. and i guess there are crimes too since olaf the snow man was thrown to jail for acting inaprippratiely so there HAS to be a law, since elsa the dictator didnt tell wallander to do that.

but oh wait... what if ARDELIA IS SWEDEN? lets check some facts. of course this would mean that sweden changes its name to ardelia in the future because you fucking idiot SWEDENS NAME HAS NEVER BEEN ARDELIA I LOOKED IT UP ON WIKIPEDIA. anyways the point is that: sweden is basically winter all the time i think. and so is ardelia, because the fucking movies name is FROZEN did you expect that thers sUMMER TIMES? WELL TOO BAD BECAUSE FUCK NO.

and then wallander lives there. and wallander also lives in sweden? but wallander is actualy fictional. so its possible that some body just named their kid wallander, and then wallander became a police man. BUT WAIT, WOULD ANY BODY ACTUALLY DO THAT? i mean basing your ENTIRE LIFE on a funny fact is fucking stupid. hmmmm... wallander is increasingly more suspicious... but wait, he just died, and there are characters thhat are actually alive, and something exciting was just happening, so maybe we should focus on the characters that are actually alive, and not as stupid and dead and depressed swedish detectives as wallander?

and fuck what was even happening oh wait OLAF THE SNOW MANS CORPSE BEGAN TO MOVE! but its unclear if snow men actually die and fuck i just ranted about that (AMONG OTHER THINGS) so maybe we should just say that olaf the snow mans BODY began to move.

but on the other hand its not very exciting if bodies begin to move. i mean bodies move ALL THE TIME? i just moved my hand while typing this, and my other hand while simultaneiously masterbating to elsanna pix. and you moved your eyes to read this. unless your eyes are stuck for some reason, my sympathies if thats the case.

so lets just say that OLAF THE SNOW MAN WAS DEAD. note that WAS. if ur body moves u usually arent dead any more, unless its zombies, and those have never appeared in this story? and snow man zombies sound p stupid. so lets just say that OLAF THE SNOW MAN WAS DEAD BUT NOW IS NOT AND ALSO IS NOT A ZOMBIE BECAUSE THATS JUST STUPID.

but anyways, olaf the snow man was basically becoming VERY alive.

"holy shit", dave said. "he didnt even do a dumb spell like the other alarmingly healing villain so what the hell?"

"oh no", elsa said "i just remembered the prophecy... this is what the propecy was:"

IN AN EVENT OCCURRING THAT INCEST BDSM QUEENS OF ARDELIA BIRTH BABIES THAT SHARE APPEARANCES NOT UNLIKE THEM  
SHALL A BABY-EATING DEMON COME AND EAT THY BABIES

anna screamed: "holy shit the incest bdsm queens of ardelia just birthed babies that share the moms looks! is the prophecy becoming true by OLAF BECOMING A BABY-EATING DEMON?"

"thats a reference to–" dave said but was interrupted by... HOLY SHIT... THE BABY-EATING DEMON!

the baby eating demon was basically olaf the snow man but HUGELY TALL (height almost 3m) and RIPPED AS HELL (radius of muscles almost 1m) and other wise SWOLE AS FUCK and MUSCULAR AS SATANS ASS HOLE and everything like that. it was of course white because? its made of snow dumb ass? and it had olafs carot nose but it was LONG AS HELL (length almost 0.5m) and pointy and probably could be used to KILL BABIES before the demon swallowed them withs its HUGE JAWS (area of mouth almost 1 m2).

"oh fuck" elsa said and pointed at the baby elsa and anna that originally came from time travel and before that came from elsas and annas vags and were time traveled by ddave strider: "to make matters worse there are ACTUAL BABIES PRESENT!"

yeah elsa youre right? a baby-eating demon would be p stupid in a story with NO BABIES AT ALL. i mean the demon comes threateningly as fuck and is all "FEED ME BABIES" but then youre just "sorry i dont have a baby" and the demon is "oh sorry for interrupting" and goes away and the storys p stupid?

but the point is, the baby-eating demon screamed LOUDLY AND CREEPILY AS FUCK:

"IM GOING TO EAT YOUR BABIES"

"oh no!", anna cried. but uhh anna how is that surprising at all? the demons fucking name is the BABY EATING DEMON. so theres p much NO EXTRA DRAMA AT ALL if it says that its gonna eat your babies.

"maybe the demon is still powering up", dr house suggested. wow dr house i thought you studied surgery not DEMON SCIENCES. and actually demon scienctes sound p stupid because demons are RELIGION and MAGIC and MYTHERIES, witch are NOT SCIECNE. so what would a demon science even be? "lol demons dont exist" said the demon scientist. tho this isnt real life and demons actually exist... or maybe its just this baby-eating demon. but still that field of study has NO FUTURE because the heroes HAVE TO kill the demon or other wise disable it because other wise it would be in future ardelia where the story started and eat elsannas time travel babies witch were there for like 5 chapters? so the point here: demon science is bad.

"HOW DO YOU EXCEPT TO OUTRUN ME..." the bay-eating demon said "WHEN I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD?"

and it was FULLY POWERED UP and FIRED A BABY DESTROYING LASER AT ELSANNA BABIES! OHHHH SHIT!

but the laser was stopped by...

... wow...

... it was stopedd by DUMLEDORE!

"SILENCE THY MOUTH, THOU ADOLESCENT DEVOURING MONSTROITY" dumledore screamed "IN MY GRACIOUS UTOPIA OF BOUNTIFULNESS AND PEACE THERE ARE NO CREATURES OF HELL BENT ON CONSUMING CHILDREN; THERE FORE I SHALL DEFEAT YOU! EN GARDE, THOU SNOW PIECE OF FECES!"

and dumledore and the baby-eating monster engaged in a SPELL DUEL.

"holy shit we need to hide the babies" elsa said. "dave pls time travel us some where else"

"uhhhh im not sure if that would be good" dave shrugged "i mean if freuds not lying wouldnt it mean that this is your childhood? so the timeline goes to full shit if the demon is not defeated and mr wizard with his long ass beard will probably just die trying"

"that is indubutably true", elsa sighed. but how could they defeat the monster?

"AVARDA KEBABDRA PLUS!" dumledore casted. the spell magiced the baby-eating demon DIRECTLY TO ITS FACE but failed to do anything.

the demon laughed and fired a lazer beam witch dumledore evaded.

"HOOOOWWW ISS THSIIIISS POSSSIBLEEEEHHH?" dumledore screamed. "that spell is like THE DEUDLIEST SPELL EVER?"

"I AM IMMORTAL AND CANNOT DIE", the baby-eating demon slithered. but uuhh hey demon? immortal p much just means u cannot die? so whats the point of adding that you cannot die IN ADDITION TO being immortal? the point is: nothing, stupid. learn english before u try to eat babies.

"LEARN TO SPELL, NOOB" the demon then screamed. "ABSORBIUM DUMLEDORIS!"

and suddenly dumledores BODY BEGAN TO WARP and was ABSOTBED INTO THE DEMON! HOLY SHIT!

"NOW I HAVE DUMLEDORES MAGIC INSINE OF ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA!" the demon laughed.

"doesnt matter", elsa said and pointed a knife at the baby-eating demon. "IM STILL GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"ME TOO!" anna screamed and pointed a doridto at the baby-eating demon. wow anna thats actually A BIT SMART? if the baby-eating demon absorbed dumledores soul surely it also absorbed his ALLERGY OF DORIDTOES?

"uhh yeah im up for some demon slaying too" dave shrugged and pointed his ICE STEEL SWORD at the demon. but wait a sec how did dave get ICE STEEL? im p sure thats not homestuck canon.

"whered you get that sword by the way" elsa axed quietly.

"wallander had a collection of ICE STEEL SWORDS for some reason so i time traveled there and stole it" dave said. there, NOW THE PLOT HOLE IS EXPLAINED and we can be happy with this bull shit story. expect that we dont know why the hell wallander had ice steel swords if his weapon of choice is guns but DONT WORRY THAT WILL BE EXPLAINED LATER.

"fuck this im out" dr house said and retreated a but farther away so that the baby-eating demons sick lazer beams wouldnt fucking kill him. and thats probably the smartest thing anybody ever did in this story.

"uguuaahhh!" elsannababies screamed and pointed their knifes at the baby-eating demon. but to be honest the babies arent going to do SHIT. babies can barely use knifes and how the hell were they even born with them anyways? now THATS a real plot hole there. or maybe its just a refrence to something i dont know.

but the baby-eating demon just laughed... and FIRED A LAZER BLADE THAT CUT ELSA AND ANNA INTO HALFS, TOTALLY KILLING THE FUCK OUT OF THEM! HOLYYYS HIIITITTT"! !WOW WHAT THE FUCK!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" elsa and anna screamed as they FUCKING DIED and their bodies split into two and their corpses fell on the ground.

"woah what the fuck" dave said and narrowly avoided being lazered to death by the baby-eating demon.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!HAHAH!" the demon laughed "NOW NOTHING WILL PREVENT ME FROM EATING THOSE BABIES AND BEING FILLED WITH BABY ENERGY WITCH WILL ALLOW ME TO COMPLETE MY EVIL PLAN!"

"thats some shit monologuing right there" dave said and sworded the demon RIGHT INTO HIS FACE. but it didnt do anything, because the demon was immortal.

and then the baby-eating demon said: "FUCK YOU" and casted a spell: "TORTORIUM MAXIMUS!"

and DEEP INSINE HIS MIND, dave strider heard a voice that sayed things that made ALL OF HIS NIGHT MARES BECOME TRUE AND JESUS FUCK THEY BECOME TRUE! dave could only drop on the floor and roll around in pain because in his mind the following words were being spoken creepily and torturously:

elsanna  
will  
never  
become  
canon

"wait a sec", dave said and stopped being tortured "im like p sure that elsanna WILL become canon, because this is the god damn past and in the future the elsannababies will be grown up and have sex every day and im guessing thats P CLOSE to the definition of a ship becoming canon"

"SHOOT! FOILED AGAIN!" the demon angered.

"and by the way your monologuing was pure shit because you didnt even reveal your evil plan" dave said and tried to cut the baby-eating demons arm off with his sword but it didnt work because the demon was immortal, stupid. "i mean whats the point then? dude i get it youre evil because your fucking name contains DEMON that was already established as hell just tell me your evil plan already"

"OKAY..." the baby-eating demon said and fired lazers every where but dave avoided them. "THE EVIL PLAN IS... TO MAKE SURE THE UNIVERSE NEVER EXISTS!"

"not sure whats that got to do with eating babies but ok" dave said and again avoided lazers. this fight is getting quite boring by the way?

"BRO I JUST SAID THAT EATING BABIES GIVES ME BABY ENERGY WITCH I CAN USE TO DO THE THING!" the baby-eating demon said and PUNCHED DAVE TO THE FACE and KNOCKED HIM THE FUCK OUT! HOLY SHIT!

dave fell to the ground because thats what happens when youre punched dumb ass.

"NOW NOTHING CAN STOP ME FROM COMPLETING MY EVIL PLAN..." the demon said "... BECAUSE AFTER I KILL YOU ONLY THE CANE IDIOT REMAINS!"

and the demon looked at dr houses direction but was SUDDENLY VERY SHOCKED because SOME THING VERY SHOCKING HAD HAPPENED THERE! AND THE THING THAT HAD HAPPENED WAS...

THAT...

dr house, the most legendary surgeon of all time, had taken a half of anna and a half of elsa and surgically created... ELSANNA!

elsanna was a magic surgery dude whose other half was elsa and other half was anna. and she moaned rythmically because the halfs were having sex the whole time. and she had both fire powers and ice powers and WATER POWERS because fire + ice = water dumb ass im p sure thats like learned in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL seriously get a grip if you didnt know that alrady.

"NOOOOO!" the baby-eating demon shouted. "THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE..."

"heh i am not the BEST SURGEON EVER for nothing" dr house said smugly. stop interrupting this moment ass hole elsanna has something to say!

and the thing that elsanna had to say was this: "yo, you baby-eating fuckboy. guess what dudes? because my elsa half and anna half are having sex all the time... i am getting pregnant all the time... and bro, guess what happens when youre pregnant?"

"WHAT IS IT?" the demon axed.

"YOU GIVE BIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRTTTHHHHHHHHHHH!" elsanna shouted dramatically. "BECAUSE... THATS... WHAT... BEING... PROGNANT... MEEEAAANNNSSSS!"

and she layed on the ground and opened her legs.

"you wanna eat all babies of the human race, bro?" elsanna shouted dramatically. "then you can START WITH THESE!"

and she began to sing with the most beautifullest voice in the universe ever heard while SHOOTING THE BABY-EATING DEMON WITH BABIES COMING OUT OF HER ELSA AND ANNA FUSION SUPERVAGYNA!

 _the baby water glows white on the street tonight_  
 _not a miscarriage to be seen_  
 _a kingdom of giving birth_  
 _and it looks like I'm the queen._

HUNDREADS OF BABIES were launched towards the baby-eating demon!

 _the babies is howling like this swirling storm inside_  
 _couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried!_

AND EVEN MORE BABIES CAME. seriously, the amount of babies here is UNREAL. dr house almost died of shock because this was so MEDICALLY UNPOSSIBLe but STILL SOME HOW HAPENING!

 _im the best at birthing the world has seen_  
 _im the fountain of babies i have to be_  
 _conceal, don't feel, the babies will die_  
 _so fuck them and good bye!_

the babies began BITING THE DEMONS FACE AND OTHER BODY PARTS! jesus fuck THE DEMON WAS P MUCH BEING EATEN ALIVE BY BABIES! WITHC is p ironic because the BABY-EATING demon is being EATEN by BABIES, wow.

 _let them go, let it go_  
 _can't hold the babies in anymore_  
 _let them go, let them go_  
 _exit my vag and slam the door!_

but the demon began EATING THE BABIES WITCH WERE EATING HIM, witch is p appropriate because its the BABY-EATING DEMON.

 _i don't care_  
 _what the laws going to say_  
 _let the baby storm rage on,_  
 _infant death never bothered me anyway!_

the streets were FILLED WITH BABY PARTS RIPPED APART BY THE DEMON! it was swallowing the babies whole and spitting out a leg or an arm or a head or some other baby body part shit.

 _it's funny how some gigabirth_  
 _makes two babies seem small_  
 _and the laws of physics that once controlled me_  
 _can't get to me at all!_

so elsanna responded by BIRTHING MORE BABIES! a BABY TORNADO SUDDENLY BURST OUT OF HER VAG and headed towards the baby-eating demon.

 _it's time to see what I can do_  
 _to test the limits of my vag and break through_  
 _no logic, no physics, no rules for me I'm free!_

a LAZER BEAM MADE OF PURE BABIES EXPLODED FROM ELSANNAS VAG! it FLEW TOWARDS THE DEMON that had a baby tornado surrounding him. the babies were punching and knifing and biting and kicking the demon ALL OVER THE PLACE and he was BLEEDING WATER because hes made of snow and snow men bleed water you dumb ass?

 _let them go, let them go_  
 _i am one with the baby filled sky_  
 _tho tons of babies are being slaughtered_  
 _you'll never see me cry!_

the baby-eating demon let out a TERRIFYING SCREAM and OPENED HIS MOUTH! IN WITCH ELSANNAS BABY LAZER WENT!

 _here I stand_  
 _and here I'll stay_  
 _let the baby storm rage on!_

the battle field was FUCKING FULL OF DEAD BABIES. shit was all kinds of unbeliveable. dave strider briefly woke up and just said "what the fuck" and fainted again.

 _my babies flurry through the air into the mouth_  
 _the demon brutally devours babies all around_  
 _and one thought crystallizes like a babious blast_  
 _filling with baby energy very fast,_  
 _the demons gonna time travel to the past!_

how the hell did you know that, elsanna? but anyways, it was TRUE. with every baby the demon swallowed, the more it healed its wounds! and because ELSANNAS BABY LAZER was going directly into its mouth, the babies couldnt attack it again! and the demon WAS charging energy to TIME TRAVEL, HOLY SHIT!

 _dont let it go, dont let it go_  
 _the demon will eat every baby under the sun_  
 _dont let it go, dont let it go_  
 _dont let the demon be gone!_

the baby-eating demon began glowing with MYSTERIOUS TIME TRAVEL ENERGY! HOLYS HIT ! ITS GONNA ESCAPE AND FUCK UP THE WHOLE TIME LINE OF THE WORLD elsanna thought.

 _here I lay_  
 _in the light of day_  
 _the baby storm rages on,_  
 _HOLY SHIT THE DEMON IS GONE!_

and it was TRUE. the baby-eating demon time traveled the fuck away after being filled with mysterious BABY ENERGY.

elsanna screamed and forcefully closed her vag to stop the birthing, but a few babies still flew out and died after crushing their heads on the pavement.

the streets were filled with dead babies in various states of having all of their body parts. every passer by was fucking fainted by the whole shock of tons of baby murder. and dave strider woke up again and this time didnt faint again.

"what the hell", dave said "1st why are there dead fucking babies everywhere 2st where is the demon 3st where the hell did this elsa anna fusion come from"

"1st i gave birth 2st time traveled away 3st dr houses surgery", elsanna said. "pls dave can u tell me where the demon went and time travel me there? i cant let it live or other wise it will eat all babies of the human race!"

"yeah i some how know" dave said "the demon went to before the universe was born"

"great" elsanna said and kind of ignored the metaphysical BS that was involved in time traveling to a time BEFORE TIME WAS EVEN A THING? seriously how is that possible expect with MAGIC BABY FORCE

"but i cant time travel you there"  
"and why the hell not?"

"im not a fucking wizard thats why" dave angered "the demon could but 1st it had absorbed dumledores soul 2st it was filled with baby energy. shits p much impossible for me and even if i could do it it would permanently take my powers away and i couldnt time travel you back"

"then SO BE IT" elsanna said heroically. "i will SACRYFICE MYSELF for the GOOD OF ALL BABIES IN EXISTANCE!"

"fine", shrugged dave. "but the world (or at least ardelia) is still doomed dude. because of the creepy ass sexmurderbots murderiously rampaging in the future, witch was the present"

"hmmmmm" elsanna wondered. saving the world was KIND OF POINTLESS if it was gonna be destroyed anyways right? so what the hell could they even do.

"i can deal with that" dr house said sudenly. "i was the BEST in med school. theres approximately 0% chance that i CANT think of some bull shit solution for this bull shit problem"

"ok", dave shrugged and time traveled dr house away to the future.

"AND NOW ME!" elsanna proclaimed heroically. wow, she was HEROIC AS HELL not counting the fact that she had just killed millions of babies p much pointlessly because it had only further powered the baby-eating demon.

"ok good bye and have fun dying for the good of mankinds babies or whatever the fuck" dave said and time traveled elsanna to the time before the universe. it was HARD AS HELL and dave did use fuck tons of time travel power and HAD NONE WHEN THE TASK WAS COMPLETE.

"good thing that it still worked tho" dave said after elsanna had disappeared and he was alone not counting dead babies. and no, dead babies dont count because 1st theyre dead 2st theyre babies and babies are barely even ppl? so yeah dave was ALONE AS HELL.

and then he realized some thing SHOCKING AND ALARMING AS FUCK...

... if he had no time travel powers left...

... HOW COULD HE RETURN TO THE FUTURE? T

-

later dr freud was walking around ardelia witch was basically in full fucking panic mode because MILLIONS OF DEAD BABIES had suddenly apperad out of thin air? and thats a PRETTY FUCKING SERIOUS SITUATION im telling you man.

suddenly DAVE STRIDER came looking SAD AS FUCK and carrying BABY ELSA AND BABY ANNA, the original time travel babies.

"take these i dont need them" he whispered and threw the babies at freud who was luckily not stupid and had lived through his cylical torment infinity times and could there fore grab the babies.

and dr freud didnt question this at all for the same reasons. he walked to ardelias center and saw the dead baby littered streets.

"holy shit" he said but only retorichally because he already knew the whole of his time loop you dumbass.

every body around was fainted due to the enormous baby gore... expect a young man who was dressed in black robes and a stupid wizord pointy had and had a magiyc wand.

"hello" said the younger version of dumledore "i am dumledore"  
"hi" said dr freud "im dr freud"

and then they were basically silent for a few minutes because ppl just dont usually know how to respond when they see millions of slaugheted babies. except puke and faint. but they didnt do that.

"what the fuck happened here" dumledore said.

"just some stupid ass pragnancy clusterfuck" dr freud shrugged.

"hmm" dumledore said. "this whole kingdom cant function if every body keeps fainting all the time due to baby mass murder. maybe i should do something about this since im a VERY POWERFUL WIZORD."

"i have a suggestion" dr freud said "make them into robotic workers of ardelia that will flip the fuck out murderously if ardelias kingdom ever falls and there fore protecting it from foreign attackers"

"thats very specific", dumledore replied. "but ok." and he did magics, and just what dr fred had said suddenly happened.

of course, dr freud only knew events in his time line, so he didnt know if the murderous rampages of elsannabots would REALLY destroy elsas and annas murderous reign. but he sure hoped it would! because elsa and anna were a bit ass holish some times u know.

"hmmmm", dumledore then said. "maybe i should erase every bodys memories of this day and lock the worker robots into a cave where they will only be discovered when its time"

"a good idea" dr freud agreed. and dumledore did some magics, and every body suddenly forgot everything about tons of dead babies.

expect some ppl of course:

1st dr freud began regaining some memories around the time that the story begins. because other wise why would he do the things he did? well he wouldnt dumb ass. and he wouldnt even know that ELSA AND ANNA were the first ones to birth babies that looked like them.

or maybe a better explanation would be that dumledore DIDNT magic erase his memories because dr freud didnt seem very shocked by the baby slaughter? what ever, you can DECIDE THE BEST EXPALANTION FOR YOUR DAMN SELF.

2st michel de montaigne who was observing the events and only mentioned being part of the evil dudes and making the prophesy probably kept some memories locked DEEP IN2 HIS SUB CONSIUS, witch is a freudian term, and there fore dr freuds probable therapy with him helped him regain the memories while having a weed dream.

3st young kafka also did the thing above, because he was mentioned hating dead babies? but thats kind of bs because... whO DOESNT DIS LIKE FUCKING DEAD BABIES? what the hell? so this even wasnt a plot hole? seriously?

but anyways after wards dr freud delivered the elsanna babies to mr and mrs frozen who were elsannas parents. and also offered to be the babies psychiatrist, because the god damn babies were STILL COVERED IN KARKATS BLOOD and p likely to be TRAUMATIZED AS HELL. but luckily they werent. and elsa and anna were just normal ppl who liked to stab each other.

-

AND THEN IN THE TIME BEFORE THE UNIVERSE WAS BORN, BEFORE THE BIG BANG I MEAN, AND BEFORE TIME EVEN WAS A THING, MAKING THIS A P STUPID THING...

the BABY-EATING DEMON appeared!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAH!" the demon laughed because its plan had JUST been succesfull as hell! the universe wasnt created yet, but when it would be, it would momentarily be as small as a little baby and THEN THE BABY-EATING DEMON COULD EAT IT!

and every body knows that if you eat the universe, you SYMBOBLICALLY eat every baby that would have ever been born in that universe. and there fore, the baby-eating demon would EAT ALL. BABIES. EVER! HOLY SHIT

but his moment of triumph became RUINED AS HELL as some body new time traveled there...

... and it was...

... ELSANNA the elsa anna fusion and this wasnt even a twist because what the hell, it was JUST said that elsanna was teleported here.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU BABY DEVOURING DUMB ASS!" elsanna shouted. "i will NOT permit you to eat the whole universe, bro!"

"TOO BAD", said the baby eating demon, "BECAUSE IM GOING TO DO IT ANYWAYS!"

they were both p much just over powered gods so they knew some things. and one of the things they knew was that... there was ABOUT ONE MINUTE TO THE CREATION OF THE UNIVERSE!

the baby-eating demon wasted no time, witch was p smart because 1 MIN WAS ONLY LEFT, and FIRED A BABY EAT LAZOR AT ELSANNA.

"lazeris protectium!" elsanna shouted and casted a spell that totally protected her. because its name was that.

and then elsanna counter attacked with her amazing FIRE-ICE-WATER-POWERS! he made the demons left arms temperature be too cold and his right arms temperature be too hot witch was p much the MOST UNCONFORMATABLE THING EVERR!

"AAAAHHHHHH!" the baby-eating demon screamed. "IM MILDLY ANNOYED! OH FUCK!"

and that was just srcasm btw.

the demon casted again the spell which makes a voice that says "ELSANNA WILL NEVER BE CANON" appear in your head. but elsanna was elsanna, so the spell was stupid and didnt do anything.

"elsanna is CANON AS FUCK, bro" elsanna laughed at the demons pathetic magiyc.

5 secs were left until the universe was going to be created. and what the hell? the baby-eating demon and elsanna didnt even try to kill each other properly? YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.

"NO IT ISNT" the demon argued just like my mom. "AND BESIDES, ITS NOT EVEN HOT! HOW IS ELSANNA HOT AT ALL?"

"its the HOTTEST THING EVER" elsanna screamed angrily "BECAUSE ITS INCEST!"

and then she realized something...

elsa had given birth to anna. and anna had given birth to elsa.

there fore, elsa was annas mom and anna was elsas mom. BUT WAIT! that also meant that anna was elsas daughter and elsa was annas daugter! and elsa was annas grand mother... and anna was elsas grand mother...

witch basically meant that elsanna was...

INFINITE  
RECURSIVE  
MOTHER  
FUCKING  
INCEST

"HOOOOLYYYY SHIIITTTT!" elsanna suddenly began to scream. incest was p hot, so infinite recursive lesbian bdsm incest was basically THE HOTTEST THING EVER? possibly even INFINITELY HOT?

and remember when at the storys start elsa and anna were having bed room problems? well now when their souls were combined in elsanna they realized that THEIR LOVE WAS INFINITE FUCKING INCEST and ALL PROBLEMS they had in their lives JUST WENT AWAY, infinite elsanna incest was just THAT HOT.

now elsanna knew what she had to do!

2 seconds until the universe was created.

the realization was SO HOT that elsas and annas souls in elsanna began to have THE HOTTEST SEX EVER KNOWN TO MAN KIND.

"so you want to eat the universe, noob?" elsanna shouted and FLEW NEXT TO THE BABY-EATING DEMON and PUT HER VAG IN THE DEMONS MOUTH...

... elsanna screamed: "THEN DO IT!"

and due to the infinite hotness of recursively incestous lesbian bdsm queen love...

GAVE BIRTH TO THE UNIVERSE

-

dave strider sat down on the street of past ardelia and began to cry. HE WOULD NEVER SEE KARKAT AGAIN! NEVER! AND THEY DIDNT EVEN EVER HAVE SEX IN THE STORY! SHIT WAS SO SAD THAT EVERY BEING IN THE UNIVERSE JUST CRIED, AND NOBODY REALLY KNEW WHY, EXPECT DAVE STRIDER I MEAN!

and then he saw the place where he was sitting: in front of ardelias police station.

and suddenly every thing made sense... why wallander and karkat had acted like that...

he walked in and was greeted by a sad looking woman.

"im sorry" the woman said. "if youre looking for a police man im sorry to tell you that the towns police officer björndödare wallander was just killed in a horse accident. where will we find our next protector?" she began to cry.

"hello" dave said. "i am bjorndidares or whatever the fucks long lost son... KURT WALLANDER"

-

dr house suddenly time traveled from the past to the future, next to gunilla who had just decided to save the kingdom.

"dr house!" gunilla said. "hi and thanks for saving my life! i momentarily lost my sanity due to being consumed by revenge, but now i regained it for what ever reason and want to save this kingdom from the murderous sexbots"

she pointed to the left where an annabot was ripping the arms out from an old man who was crying.

"i know a way for that", dr house said.

"great!" gunilla smiled. "what is it?"

"show your boobs"

-

ELSANNA GAVE FUCKING BIRTH TO THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

the baby-eating demon tried to eat the universe that was BURSTING out of elsannas vag... BUT COULDNT! because one part of it was still inside elsanna!

"AHHAOHAOHOHOHAOHOAOAOHAOOHAAOOAAOHOHA" the baby-eating demon shouted.

elsanna PUSHED HARDER THAN SHE HAD EVER PUSHED IN THE HISTORY OF HER PRAGNANCIES. inside her soul, the souls of elsa and anna were desperately having birth to increase the size of the universe that was being born from elsannas vag.

and it looked like it worked! the universe was getting bigger and the baby-eating demon couldnt eat it all... and it began pushing its mouth too far apart and breaking it!

but then...

the size of the universe began slowly to decrease...

... and it looked like the baby-eating monster was going to win after all!

"N-NOOO!" elsanna cried.

and thats when the baby-eating monster spit a ball of PURE DARK ENERGY from his mouth. it entered the universe and landed on a specific point in time and space elsanna and the demon observed...

-

young elsa had just found a cave that contained millions of robots that looked like grown up her and anna? how cool!

"wow!" elsa said. she liked science, so she couldnt admit the truth that her magical intuition always knew, deep inside...

... and the truth was that the elsannabots were really made of babies of elsa and anna.

and with every second their kingdom marched towards certain destruction... the less the elsannabots were robots and more they became elsa and anna... but elsa could never admit the truth.

until now, when she was combined with anna and also giving birth to the entire universe.

and mean while in the frozen familys manor... anna was stepping outside holding a knife... just like in the dream she described to dr freud...

and SUDDENLY A BALL OF PURE EVIL DESCENDED FROM THE SKY!

and inside it was a seed that soon hatched and created the MOST EVIL BEING ANY BODY CAN EVER IMAGINE.

olaf the snow man laughed evilly and said: "DO... YOU... WANT... TO... BUILD... A... SNOWMAN?"

-

back in seconds after the universes creation, elsanna had a great idea: she magically created a doridto and THREW IT ON THE BABY-EATING DEMONS FACE!

the demon got an allergic reaction but didnt die. how ever, the size of the universe stopped decreasing because the demont couldnt eat it that well because he had an allergic reaction dumb ass.

now would be the time to act... if only elsanna could accelrate the creation of the universe! what could she do?

and then she remembered another thing that was as hot as incest...

... and it was...

... PAIN

she decided to observe a certain persons time line in the universe that was rapidly birthing out of her vag.

-

so dave strider decided to become wallander.

ardelia was a shit hole full of crimes, so the job wasnt easy. there was LOTS of crime. however, after years passed he found he had regained enough time travel energy to observe the next couple of hours. there fore, he could always "come as fast as he could" and catch criminals just seconds after they had commited crimes.

after years and years had passed... after mr and mrs frozen had died in a knife accident... after robotic versions of the new queens had begun patrolling the streets of ardelia... dave suddenly almost had a heart attack when he saw that KARKAT HAD APPEARED!

but to not raise suspicion, he could not do anything until karkat would commit a crime. after all, he was involved with the evil dudes resistance agains elsas and annas tyrannical rule.

-

seconds after universes creation, a single tear shed down elsannas eye.

-

but when karkat finally flipped the fuck out and attempted murder, dave would finally see his bf again.

but he couldnt tell him the truth.

the time line required that karkat didnt know who wallander really was... so all dave could do was enjoy the final moments as time hurried towards the conclusion he saw and feared every day...

-

elsanna cried two more tears.

-

"WHAT THE FUCK", karkat screamed angerily.

"shhh the hell up dude we have to run before dumledore flips the fuck out and magicmurders all of us", kurt wallander (WHO WAS REALLY DAVE) whispered.

but deep down he knew it was impossible. dave knew he could only raise false hope in his bf to make his death more pleasurable...

... and then dumledore gave dave his choice...

... and he killed karkat mercifully and inevitably...

... until was finally decapitated by his past self.

-

elsanna began crying harder than anybody had ever cried. FORGET YOUR MOM NOT LIKING ELSANNA, THIS WAS THE SADDEST THING THAT HAD EVER HAPPENED!

and the souls of elsa and anna insine her began ALSO to cry, and because they were masochists, began to HAVE TONS OF SEXUAL ENERGY... AND HAD THE MOST PASSIONATE LESBIEN SEX THAT HAD EVER HAPPENED...

and finally, the universe began expanding FAST AS FUCK. it expanded so hard it ripped the baby-eating demons MOUTH TO PIECES IN A FEW NANOSECONDS. the demon could not scream, for he had no mouth, when the universe filled the nothinness that his body used to fill and destroyed the monster for good.

elsanna her self had also a couple of nanoseconds to look at her baby – the universe.

the babies are us, she thought. not elsa and anna, but US, the entire human race and all other countless races inhabiting foreign galaxies. they always were. her recursive metaphysical infinite pregnancy had created all that ever was and all that would ever be, including herself.

and then the universe expanded to the emptiness where her body was, and killed her.

-

EPILOUGE

-

"show your boobs", dr house repeated.

"what", gunilla said but decided to obey. after all, what damage could it do?

suddenly, every elsabot was alerted by her HUGE BOOBS (radius almost 2m after dr houses little "improvement surgery").

and suddenly, every annabot became MAD AS HELL at the elsabots.

there were equal amounts of elsabots and annabots, so they began fighting each other. fire powers, ice powers, knifes, kicks, punches, bites, ALL MEANS OF VIOLENCE were employed as the elsabots that had become so unrobotlike they couldnt even resist gunillas boobs fought the annabots that had become so unrobotlike they could feel jealousy even tho robots dont usually have feelings.

the battle raged on, for days, but the robots had stopped attacking citizens and destroying private and public property.

and finally, 1 week 2 days 16 hours 37 mins 9 secs after the robots had started rampaging murderously, the last ones killed each other simultanously. remaining citizens of ardelia had tried to destroy the last ones, but ICE STEEL couldnt be destroyed by anything else. luckily, in the end, all elsannabots had died.

gunilla had been declared the queen because of her high IQ (value almost 230), and HUGE BOOBS. dr house was the royal surgeon whose amazing talents had succeeded saving 78% of ardelias total population.

there were like 10000 statues of elsa and anna already in the kingdom. all of them were destroyed expect two, witch were placed deep into the reconstructed palace (witch had mostly been abandoned, because gunilla didnt want use royal money to hire thousands of maids only to keep it clean).

and when gunilla once at night took a wrong turn and wandered past the room where the statues were located...

... she could swear that she heard sounds of kissing, moaning and stabbing.

but maybe that was just her imagination.

END


End file.
